Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Idle American

Last night, while I was waiting for the buzz from my raspberry martini to kick in, I decided to turn on the telly to see if there was anything worth watching. Somehow, I found myself watching American Idol. I hate that show because:
  • I think it's pretty lame to have "America" vote for who stays & who goes (read: teen girls with Sidekicks that spend 2 hours texting in their votes decides who wins).
  • Paula always appears drunk.
  • The idiot audience always boos Simon every time he lays out the truth.
I only saw one "Idol" perform last night (Melinda I think -- the black girl with the giant head). After this chick's performance, Paula started to cry because she just realized that she was actually drinking water & not the vodka she ordered. the performance moved her to tears.

For me, the best part of the show was when Simon and Ryan Cheesecrest got into a little witty banter.
Ryan: Stay out of my closet!
Simon: Come out!

I don't know why, but I really loathe Ryan. Maybe it's that little mousey face of his, or maybe it's the way he over enunciates words that really irks me. I just hope the rumors aren't true, and he's not gay.


WAT said...

Oh please. Ryan is as gay as outer space is vast and infinite.

I wanna bone him so hard and knock those fake teeth out with my hard huge c*ck.

Excuse me. I've obviously been fantasizing about this for a while.

Steve said...

The only thing I know about that show is what I see/hear on the news, which begs the question: THIS is news? Neither Chris, nor I, have EVAH watched that show. We do not care.

Crazy Eddie said...

Wow WAT... that's passion!

I have to agree as to the whole "big head" situation with that black girl. I hate to call her black girl, but I can't recall her name. Anyhow, the chick has no neck...

It greatly distracts me from her otherwise outstanding voice.


Christopher said...

WAT: Can you please emalil me pics of this "hard huge cock"? doesnt even have to be hard.

Steve: I hear ya brotha! Such a waste or prime-time TV.

Eddie: you crack me the hell up!

Christopher said...

damn....tonight's wine is really affecting my typing...please ignore all of the typos on my comments that I just left!

Michael Guy said...

ME TOO! I never tune-in American Idol but I did the other night. They had Diana Ross on 'guiding' the contestants?! Admittedly I have HAD a thing for Ryan. I think it's the teeth/smile/mouth? But when I saw him the other night sporting some stubble and a tan shirt/tie combo with a grey suit he looked like holy hell. Maybe PRADA can pull that color combo off but Ryan looked tired and washed-out. And washed-up. Still, I'd let him blow me while I fingered his tight bunghole. I'm just sayin'...

dbv said...

water and not vodka.... that's too funny!!!

Eric said...

I don't like Seacrest but did anyone else get incredibly turned on by what WAT said?

Also, I don't mean to belittle you, Christopher, but, to Paula Abdul, Vodka IS water. :-)

Big Daddy said...

Actually, I learned while sick at home the last few days, Paula has neurological issues.

I bet she is on tons of animal tranquilizers.

So I won't make fun of her anymore.

Thanks 'True Hollywood Story'!