Friday, June 1, 2007

Weigh Off

Imagine how badly I wanted to scream like a little biotch, pick up the scale & throw it through the wall of windows, when the weight scale at Bally's said that I gained 4 lbs in less than a week! All of the discipline & self-control over food for what? I've sweated buckets on the treadmill & elliptical machines, only to GAIN weight???....WTF!!!???

After about 15 seconds of my mental freaking out & it occurs to me that, just maybe, the calibration of the scale was off....so I set the scale to zero, and yes, thank you Jebus, some asshat had adjusted the scale by several pounds. I tried to adjust it back, but the damn thing wasn't cooperating. So at this point, I clapped my hands & shouted: "Oy, Shop boy!" I called the guy at the front desk over for help.

The guy that comes over is probably barely a day over 18 (with a body that is nothing short of amazing), and is a mouth breather. I was so tempted to reach up and fondle his rather plump package and close his mouth. I explained to him what's wrong with the scale and he tells me: "dude, all the scales are like that.....it's to allow for the weight of the heavy metal part that you stand on.".....I disagreed & he continued to try to convince me that he's right.....after a quick look around the lobby, I see that it's just the 2 of us.

He won't listen to reason and frankly, with him standing so close to me, bulging in all the right places, I'm getting a little turned on.....so I decide to thank him for his 'help' and head on home....I should probably wait until the end of the week to weigh in anyway.

As I make my way toward my car, I can't help but wonder: Why are the pretty ones always dumb as hell?

14 comments:

Greg said...

Ugh! I hate weighing myself. Scales should be banned from gyms at all times.

Which reminds me that I need to start going back. Today. :(

Steve said...

I've always been thin and for a while, I obsessed over it - weighing myself 2-3 times a day. (I weigh more now than I ever have and may be getting, ahem, a little doughy, but I digress.) I may weigh myself 2-3 times a month now. Anyway, a doctor once told me that people should weigh themselves on the SAME scale around the SAME time of day. Not sure if I had a point here, but thought I'd pass it along. Hang in there, and have a good weekend

Big Daddy said...

What's with all the gay blogs I read talkin' 'bout their weight and how they can't find a man!?

You guys have me seriously thinking I have body dysmorphic issues as even though I am in the right place fo BMI and weigh in the 120's, I still feel like I look like Shamu.

On a different note, if you are doing a lot more working out, you will be building muscle mass.

So while it looks like your not losing weight, you are losing fat.

Your gym should be able to do a fat index, and you can track it that way.

Big Daddy said...

'for BMI', although fo' works as well.

Smooches.

Lewis said...

Make sure they're 18! Check their ID before they get in the car! Always!
And don't check your weight more than once week. Everyone's weight fluctuates up and down. It's the long-term, man.....keep it simple. Long-term!

Gary said...

This post was a riot - I always chuckle and perhaps guffaw when I read your blog.
Losing weight sucks, for the first time in my life I find that I could stand to lose a few myself. What is the world coming to?

Though Lovers Be Lost said...

Sometimes I wonder the same thing, as if they can coast on their looks and not have to develop their mental capacities. But hell, they say beauty is only skin deep ... and ugly goes right to the bone (and I've seen my x-rays, so I know it's true! nyaa nyaa).

The other folks are right, best to do the weigh-in at the same time of the day on the same scale.

I'm happy just to nudge the marker down a pound or two each week on my scale... if nothing else than to avoid getting the fishy-eyed glare from my doctor when I go in this fall to get my booster shots.

Scot said...

Yes mouth breather, it's called tare. But you see, the "metal thing" is still there when I step off and the scale still reads 7 lbs. So do I take the "Metal Thing" off and get back on?

An LA meet and greet would be fun. Already friends with Duante Vita and WAT, would love to add you!

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

Steve definately has a point - weigh yourself at the same time of day on the same scale, and never trust a scale at a gym - buy one for home - they are not expensive! I weigh myself every day in the morning right after my shower, and I get consistent results. Why put yourself through the trauma by doing it in any other way. Be gentle, baby.

Michael Guy said...

Guess who just signed-up for training sessions to run a damn marathon?!

Moi. Betch!

I dunno why I'm doing this. It's like Karen Walker from Will & Grace doing physical exertion...not going to happen unless Neiman's has a SALE.

But anyway...I start training next Saturday. Wish me luck..and I'll do the same for you, luv. Hang in there and let's be the hottest betches at The Abbey...soon.

Palm Springs Savant said...

I put on a few pound while on a cruise and now I am cursing myself. I keep weighing myself as if it will magically drop off. ::sigh::

you have a cool blog. stop by and say hi sometime.
www.rickrockhill.blogspot.com

M- Filer said...

Muscle adds pounds. It's about how ya feel silly. Firm & Fit? Or Lethargic and dumpy? If you have been working it, I am sure it is the former. Keep up the good work.

Steven said...

If they increase poundage to balance out the scale, then remove that difference from your weight.

But, if that doesn't work, just think that you gained 4 pounds of muscle in a week.

RAD Homo said...

Always so clever--I hate scales. Im having one of my buds dress in Drag to sneak in the theater my junior mints man! good friggen idea! xo Rad