Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Is There A Tailor In the House?

There's a CPA that works in my department, who is one of the smartest men I've ever met. I think that he actually drains some of my brain cells, whenever I stand next to him....and here I was hoping that some of his smarts would rub off on me.

As intelligent as he is, he's quite awkward in social settings. He doesn't really know how to interact with others during business lunches...instead of socialising, he becomes a wallflower...quietly observing us all.

It's odd, but he makes me want to behave & not act a fool whenever he's around...am I subconsciously looking for his approval?...am I terrified that he's a ticking time bomb, carefully analyzing us all, quietly deeming who is worth sparing on that one day he loses his marbles and goes postal on his coworkers?

...maybe...and yes!

I noticed in an old photo, that sits on my supervisor's desk, that he used to be really fat...obese really. He stopped by my cubicle this afternoon to drain some more brain cells thank me for helping him with a report. I told him that I noticed the pic & congratulated him on his weight loss. He said that it took him a long time to lose the weight and he did it by basically changing his poor eating habits & walking around his neighborhood nightly.

Now the odd thing about this man is that he still wears his "fat clothes". The pants are so big that he actually has to pull the excess fabric to his back, make a fold, and then cinch the pants with a belt. The belt is the same one(s) he used to wear when he was much larger....it's obvious when you see how far back it wraps around his torso.

Today he answered the question that I've been wanting to ask for months now: why is he still wearing those clothes? why doesn't he buy a new wardrobe that actually fits (he can afford it)? He told me that he continues to wear the old clothes as a daily reminder of his past gluttony...[huh?]

I was thinking: "screw that...wouldn't giving yourself a daily flogging also work? I mean they're both ridiculous & extreme punishments"....but instead I just said "hmm...well anyway, congrats on the weight loss, you should really be proud of yourself". He just smiled, turned & walked away...I think it's high time I transfer the hell out of my department....I just can't handle these freaks!


Anonymous said...

Hopefully he has crossed you off his "postal" checklist now. That is odd that he still wears the baggy clothes as a reminder. Does sound like a time bomb waiting to go off. Better start wearing body armor now until you can get the heck out of there!

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

MMMM...that IS an interesting sounding guy. In some ways you can understand his actions, but in others, it's, well, a bit "helter skelter". Trust me though, the freaks are EVERYWHERE. Only in death can you escape them (and I'm not sure I'd even consider this guy a "freak"...)

Eric said...

Hahahahaha! It's funny because there's not a guy here in my department who would put themselves in the same sentence with the word diet without making sure it's separated by "never gonna."

Big Daddy said...

He should just post a picture of his old self by the bathroom mirror so he sees it each day and night to remind him.

People who don't realize that the image you portray to others speaks volumes about you as a person.

Like his clothes making us think he's a freak.

Big Daddy said...

I meant to say:

People who don't realize that the image you portray to others speaks volumes about you as a person, need to wake up.

eliot said...

Just continue to be nice to him. Maybe invite him to your house for some dancing. When he brings that gun in to work and starts shooting, you'll be spared.

cb said...

If he's even marginally cute I would have pulled him aside and 'wonder twinned' him.

Form of: some harsh advice about his grody clothing and self appearance

Shape of: helpful suggestions on getting a new wardrobe, that he deserved it, that he's gone long enough with the 'reminders' and its time to embrace the inner him

Christopher said...

Paulie: I've got the bullet-proof vest on order.

Eric: I know it...in my last position (similar to where you're at now), I worked with the same people.

Big Daddy: Word!

Eliot: I only dance solo en mi casa.

cb: that's hilarious! you actually made me LOL (and swallow my gum, damn you!)

Scot said...

See, I'd much rather go out and buy clothes that fit so that if I ever slip back into the old habits I'm reminded by the waistband of my pants cutting into my skin. There's nothing that makes you skip lunch like not being able to bend at the waist enough to sit in your desk chair.

Jules said...

There's no way in hell I'd waltz around in my fat clothes if I lost a bunch of weight... strange!!!

TCho said...

oh that fucking weird. but i guess if it works, then good for him. But what's the point of losing weight if you're not going to wear the clothes to show it off?