Last Saturday night, I went to Ripples in Long Beach...so much fun was had there, and I have to say that it was mainly due to some of the "performers"that showed up to personally entertain me. Here's a recap of what kept me giggling all night:
The Goth Couple
There comes a time, in every young Goth's life, when theblack hair dye, makeup, & vampire wardrobe all needs to be saved for Halloween. So when you're in your 30's, and haven't realized this fact of life yet, it just reads as sad...but there they were, in a gay bar, in full Gothic regalia no less....a male & female 30-something "couple". To get a visual on these 2, just picture you're basic Goth look, you know, he wore black pants, long sleeved black t-shirt, long jet-black hair....she was a vision in black in her floor length skirt, long sleeved shirt, club kid shoes, and fish net "gloves".....now, to complete that visual please add about 300 pounds to each of them.....yup...I hope describing this couple doesn't put me in a bad light or bring my integrity into question...I'm just trying to paint a picture here.
So the real fun started when this Hot Homo got up on the Lady Goth and started to grind on her lower stomach(s)...for a long time. Boy Goth was clearly not amused, said something to the Hottie, who in turn said something offensive to BG...and that's when BG grabbed his "girlfriend" by the hand, pulled her away from the dry humping she was getting & started to blubber about 2 feet away from me....so sad.
I see this same Latino guy around all the bars in Long Beach, and he always makes me feel a little dirty/disgusted for watching him dance. He spent most of the night bent over like the letter "r" wiggling his ass, dancing in a squatted position, staring down any guy that he caught gawking at him (including me)...yikes! It's one thing to freak another guy, but when you're doing that to a mirrored column, it really looks desperate...damn, save that for the privacy of your livingroom!
The Go-Go Dancer
Good Laaaawwdy...there he was up on the dance cube, looking like a porn star from the 80's...perfect hair, gorgeous face, amazing body without a hint of hair follicle on him...with a gigantic magic stick hanging out of his speedo, pointing south. His third leg was wrapped up in a home made "sock" that was flesh colored. From where I was standing, I thought it was a dildo hanging out of his chonies at first, but upon further inspection, I confirmed that it was him...all him....and boy was there a lot of him...ok, I'll stop now.
The Parking Lot Couple
I guess the Go-Go Dancer got a couple guys really turned on (besides me), and they just couldn't make it to a bed in time...in fact, they couldn't even make it all the way into their car. The driver was getting a nice blow job (I'm assuming he was enjoying it from all of the loud moaning he was doing), while the guy "giving" was on his knees (on the asphalt), with the front door wide open. Of course we had the good fortune of parking directly in front of them, but they didn't even pause when we had our headlights shining on them....Shameful!....but still a little hot!
Yeah, I'm still giggling!