I used to be married...yes, to a woman for about 12 years. Oh, it's that classic, age-old story of high school sweet hearts falling in love, the slutty girl gets pregnant by a gay-boy-in-denial, they both become overwhelmed by the guilt & shame of bringing a child into this world to unwed parents, so they do the "right thing" and get married at the tender age of 22 & try to make it work.
To be honest, I did love her once upon a time...for many years in fact. I've known her since we were both 15...we grew up together...she was my first kiss/my first sexual experience. I witnessed the mental abuse (and sometimes physical abuse) that her mother put upon her. I wanted to rescue her from that awful existence. I swore that I would protect her from the demons of her past and take her away from all of that misery someday. So,when she got pregnant, I knew what I had to do. Her mom was a single mother and I saw how much she struggled just to make ends meet. I felt like it was my responsibility to help break this cycle. So we wed.
The first few years of our marriage were pretty good, actually. We were kids playing house, struggling to make the rent, but we got along ok. Then things began to change...for me especially. I could no longer deny my sexuality. I wanted to be with men, but I didn't want to cheat on my wife. She also wanted to be with other men, and didn't care about cheating on me...so she did. Eventually things got pretty bad & the marriage fell apart....we became roommates & only stayed together for as long as we did, due to financial reasons. In 2002, we split & divorced shortly after...luckily, the divorce was amicable & today we're on good terms.
When I started this blog, I made the decision that this was going to be a venue where I would write all about me, me & me. I wasn't going to discuss my family or close friends (without their direct consent). My intention was to protect the innocent from being unwillingly or unknowingly put out there for all the world "to see"....but now I'm thinking that maybe it's time I re-evaluate that decision, especially in regards to discussing my immediately family. I have nothing to hide...I feel only love & pride when it comes to my family/home life.
So on that note, I'd like to share the fact that I've been blessed with two beautiful daughters... Lauren is 16 & Madison is 13 years old...Lauren is her mother's daughter (passive, artistic, sometimes shy, always kind, intelligent & self-less). Madison is definitely her father's daughter (outspoken, direct, gregarious, & tenacious as hell). With such differing personalities, they complement each other quite well.
Both of these gifts brighten my days, give me a purpose in this world, make my life worth living, and give me strength to keep fighting on, especially during those times when the darkness creeps in & all I want to do is to give in to it...I'm always amazed at the power that they (secretly) have over me. I'd do things for my girls that I'd do for no other...they've also brought out a self-less quality in me that I never knew existed....yes, I used to be a real selfish bastard...so stay tuned, I'm sure I'll be bragging about them from time to time here.
My sense of smell is dead. To be more accurate, I have Hyposmia... a reduced ability to smell and to detect odors. I can only smell very few things in this world such as : gasoline, popcorn, garlic, coffee, a few spices, and sometimes I can even smell shit (FYI, I can smell "Bull-Shit"a mile away, so don't even try lying to me). What a nasty little trick Baby Jebus played on me by giving me a giant nose & making it nearly useless...oh, if you're ever in my presence and feel the need to fart, go for it & let 'er rip!....I won't complain....seriously.
When I was a teen, I was in a band.....ok, it was my high school marching band & I played the trumpet for 4 years. I've lost that ability, as well as the ability to read music, although I do remember some kind of mnemonic device for reading music notes...something about Every Gay Boy Digs Fashion...and this one time, at band camp...
I have two brothers (in their very early 20's) & two sisters (33 & 45 years old) ...I'm the 2nd oldest child.....quite an age range, no? I have a Lezzie sister & a homo brother....so that means that 60% of my parent's kids turned out Queer...wheeeee!. My brother got outed, when my Mom walked into his bedroom to drop off his laundry (spoiled brat), and caught him getting his freak on (with his trick of the week)....if memory serves, I think she temporarily went blind...poor Mama! My Lesbionic sister almost got married to a guy that was using her for her money...we had to smack down a family intervention on her delusional ass, to help her realize that he really was scum.
So there you go....5 little gems about little old me....now don't y'all feel even closer to me now?