Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Pulling Back The Curtain

A long ass time ago, I was tagged by Synrgy & Jay to do a meme that revealed 5, or maybe it was 8 things about myself that no one really knows (I can't remember which, so you're getting 5)....sorry guys for the extreme procrastination, but here you go:

One
I used to be married...yes, to a woman for about 12 years. Oh, it's that classic, age-old story of high school sweet hearts falling in love, the slutty girl gets pregnant by a gay-boy-in-denial, they both become overwhelmed by the guilt & shame of bringing a child into this world to unwed parents, so they do the "right thing" and get married at the tender age of 22 & try to make it work.

To be honest, I did love her once upon a time...for many years in fact. I've known her since we were both 15...we grew up together...she was my first kiss/my first sexual experience. I witnessed the mental abuse (and sometimes physical abuse) that her mother put upon her. I wanted to rescue her from that awful existence. I swore that I would protect her from the demons of her past and take her away from all of that misery someday. So,when she got pregnant, I knew what I had to do. Her mom was a single mother and I saw how much she struggled just to make ends meet. I felt like it was my responsibility to help break this cycle. So we wed.

The first few years of our marriage were pretty good, actually. We were kids playing house, struggling to make the rent, but we got along ok. Then things began to change...for me especially. I could no longer deny my sexuality. I wanted to be with men, but I didn't want to cheat on my wife. She also wanted to be with other men, and didn't care about cheating on me...so she did. Eventually things got pretty bad & the marriage fell apart....we became roommates & only stayed together for as long as we did, due to financial reasons. In 2002, we split & divorced shortly after...luckily, the divorce was amicable & today we're on good terms.

Two
When I started this blog, I made the decision that this was going to be a venue where I would write all about me, me & me. I wasn't going to discuss my family or close friends (without their direct consent). My intention was to protect the innocent from being unwillingly or unknowingly put out there for all the world "to see"....but now I'm thinking that maybe it's time I re-evaluate that decision, especially in regards to discussing my immediately family. I have nothing to hide...I feel only love & pride when it comes to my family/home life.

So on that note, I'd like to share the fact that I've been blessed with two beautiful daughters... Lauren is 16 & Madison is 13 years old...Lauren is her mother's daughter (passive, artistic, sometimes shy, always kind, intelligent & self-less). Madison is definitely her father's daughter (outspoken, direct, gregarious, & tenacious as hell). With such differing personalities, they complement each other quite well.

Both of these gifts brighten my days, give me a purpose in this world, make my life worth living, and give me strength to keep fighting on, especially during those times when the darkness creeps in & all I want to do is to give in to it...I'm always amazed at the power that they (secretly) have over me. I'd do things for my girls that I'd do for no other...they've also brought out a self-less quality in me that I never knew existed....yes, I used to be a real selfish bastard...so stay tuned, I'm sure I'll be bragging about them from time to time here.

Three
My sense of smell is dead. To be more accurate, I have Hyposmia... a reduced ability to smell and to detect odors. I can only smell very few things in this world such as : gasoline, popcorn, garlic, coffee, a few spices, and sometimes I can even smell shit (FYI, I can smell "Bull-Shit"a mile away, so don't even try lying to me). What a nasty little trick Baby Jebus played on me by giving me a giant nose & making it nearly useless...oh, if you're ever in my presence and feel the need to fart, go for it & let 'er rip!....I won't complain....seriously.


Four
When I was a teen, I was in a band.....ok, it was my high school marching band & I played the trumpet for 4 years. I've lost that ability, as well as the ability to read music, although I do remember some kind of mnemonic device for reading music notes...something about Every Gay Boy Digs Fashion...and this one time, at band camp...

Five
I have two brothers (in their very early 20's) & two sisters (33 & 45 years old) ...I'm the 2nd oldest child.....quite an age range, no? I have a Lezzie sister & a homo brother....so that means that 60% of my parent's kids turned out Queer...wheeeee!. My brother got outed, when my Mom walked into his bedroom to drop off his laundry (spoiled brat), and caught him getting his freak on (with his trick of the week)....if memory serves, I think she temporarily went blind...poor Mama! My Lesbionic sister almost got married to a guy that was using her for her money...we had to smack down a family intervention on her delusional ass, to help her realize that he really was scum.

So there you go....5 little gems about little old me....now don't y'all feel even closer to me now?

...

24 comments:

Jim said...

WOW! That was a very large curtain!

Just when you think you know your imaginary friends on-line they go and pull a stunt like this. Revealing all sorts of fascinating stuff.

I can't wait to learn more.

Paul said...

Wow there really were a lot of similarities in our marriages. So much of what you wrote is what I had experienced with only a few differences.
You really show what a wonderful man you are here by describing your girls and what they have done to make you the person you are today. Yes, this made me teary eyed because I have seen your love for them and myself firsthand. I am very fortunate to have met you and to have you bless me with your kindness and love. I cant tell you how much that means to me. I really have a lot of love for you! Ok...Ok, I'll turn the sappy machine off now!

franck said...

How funny you never mentioned the lack of smell to me, cause I can't smell much either.

And ehm... what's going on between you and Paul?!?!

Silly Billy said...

Chris - thanks for sharing this about you. After meeting you, I know you must be a wonderful father.

Steven said...

You're such a show-off.

You couldn't say five boring or uninteresting things?

Lewis said...

Okay, so I had to go get another cup of coffee for that one. I loved it! You're an excellent writer and story-teller. Thanks for sharing....and for not being BORING

cb said...

I prefer the bass clef staff: Gay Boys Do Fuck Ass

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

OMG! My jaw is on the floor...I never, ever would have guessed the first two things. I mean NEVER! First, you seem too gay to have ever been married (no offense intended), and second, you look too damn young to have kids that old! Man, besides a lot of traveling and wild, hot man sex, I've lived a boring life. ;-)

Greg said...

Yea! Another fellow band geek! I played clarinet for the high school marching band, and it followed me to college.

As for the not being able to smell, I think you're blessed with that. After some of the weird odors from the alley behind my apartment, even plugging my nose doesn't stop the reek.

JOE * to * HELL said...

i love that u have girls and paul has boys

so goddamn cute

what if they get together someday? how "one day at a time" is that???

cuttttteeeee

Eric said...

Adorable. Thanks for sharing, Christopher. I think it's wonderful that they're so important to you and your life.
I have a friend who shared information about his wife and child with me not long ago and, as a gay person in a world where you never know how people will react to "past lives" or even your current one, this is a big thing you've chosen to share with ut.

Big Daddy said...

Wow.

First I find out your age, and now this.

It's like my whole world is turned upside down.

Wait, Oprah is still president, right?

Right?

Robert said...

And maybe someday, we'll get to see pictures of your 2 girls! Maaaaybe! ;-) You and Paul remind me of that Britpop band back in the mid-90's, Gay Dad! haha!

The Other Andrew said...

Wonderful post Chris! Thanks so much for sharing this with us.

Mine would be really boring. Except maybe where I came out as a woman. One who has her own internationally syndicated chat show. But I'm not about to do that, yet.

RAD Homo said...

Holy smokes! Thanks for sharing-- you are a great writer man..I love reading your post......Thanks for the nice comment yesterday too..I wish you were closer too!! I bet you would be the perfect drinking buddy-- I bet you would be able to cheer me up fast!

WAT said...

AMAZING POST! BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN! CHOCK FULL OF EXTRAORDINARY REVELATIONS AND SURPRISES! I AM SPEECHLESS!

Someone please get me some smelling salts...

Jules said...

Oh wow!!! I feel so close to you I'm sure you can feel me hanging on around your waist!! That was a great insight into you... two daughters, hey? Awesome!!

And no sense of smell? You're every woman who's afraid to pass gas's dream!!

M- Filer said...

Jesus Christ, what the fuck? I feel I don't even know you any more. I thought you were just a fun fag with a snarky way of telling a story. Now I am learning about your double life, about children and ex-wives, and plastic surgery (you look too young to be as old as me)and god knows what else.

I need to take a moment.

The Scott Blog said...

great honesty friend, seriously, i admire that.

what am i most shocked by? the fact that you can't smell. WOW! i don't know what i'd do without my sense of smell.

Rich Gold said...

You have just totally freaked my shit!

But I admire anyone who can stand, willingly and proudly..in their own light of truths.

Excellent post, Christopehr.

Michael Guy said...

NOW that was one revealing post! I think I need a cigarette on this one. And I stopped smoking 15-years ago...

YOU are one amazing guy! And an amazing Dad and amazing blogger..and on and on...

Christopher said...

Awww shucks!!...Thanks for all the kind words, bitches...they really mean a lot to me!

D-Man said...

Well color me tickled. Thanks for sharing, Christopher. And here I thought 'pulling back the curtain' had something to do with being uncircumsized...

TCho said...

one of my friends from high school fell on her nose from a grocery cart when she was little and lost her sense of smell