Reasons why I should be at home today, instead of pretend-working at the hated J-O-B:
- The weather...today's high is supposed to hit 80.
- I hate my job.
- I think I left the iron on.
- I feel the desperate need to pleasure myself, and I hate loving myself at the office.
- I hate my coworkers.
- I'm expecting a package in the mail, and I'm getting nervous that the thieving kids in my neighborhood will snatch it if I get home too late.
- My boss is out sick today.
- I forgot to set the chicken out (to thaw) for tonight's dinner.
- I hate my f*ckin job.
- The thong I'm wearing is starting to chafe my tender skin.
All valid points, no?