Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Things That Be Workin' My Last Nerve

  • Thirty-year old coworkers that speak in "Valley Girl". I get so tired of hearing: "....and I was all", "...."and he was all"..."and I'm totally like going..."... Every. Single. Day. All. Day. Long.....and to make my eye twitch even worse, whenever they get excited (which is often), they tend to speak in a sped up, high pitched voice that drives me insane. Grow up already and learn a real Ebonics!

  • Maybe it's the area of L.A. where I work...I dunno...but I see a helluva lot of people sporting full face sun visors...I'm sorry if this sounds petty, but y'all look like assholes. Seriously. I know that the sun's UV rays are damaging to your facial beauty, but knock it off and deal with the carcinoma....kidding...sorta.

  • Getting on an elliptical machine at the gym, that's soaked with the previous pig's sweat. Jebus...wipe down the machine before your nasty ass exits...I really hate wasting my clean towel on a stranger's sweat!

  • Speaking of nasty people's fluids.. I seem to have become a magnet lately for people to spit on during a conversation. If you do happen to spit on me, please, at least own up to it and wipe the spittle off of me...and an apology would be appreciated as well.

...Today's post has been brought to you by WTF Wednesdays...


Shirley Heezgay! said...

in high school, there was a teacher who was notorious for spitting while she spoke.

one day, her spittle went right into the eye of my friend. two days later, pinkeye. coincidence?

Anonymous said...

Someone sounds a little irritated at work. I need to give you some big hugs & kisses to make you feel all better!
Your post made me think of the movie "Earth Girls are Easy" Like gosh I totally have no clue why?

Scot said...

I'v e found that the faux Vallet Speak has made a come-back. I can pretty much guarantee they did not sound like that 5 years ago. It all started with poeple saying "My bad" all the time. WTF kind of phrase is that? It still bugs me to hear it.

I've mostly seen the full face visors on Asian women while driving. It looks like a PlaySkool Brand welding mask.

joe*to*hell said...

when i spit on you, you tell me its ok. because you know i dont want the calories

Big Daddy said...

For you, Christopher.

Lewis said...

Nasty pig sweat? Some have to actually pay for that. Consider yourself a work of charity. (Oops, I have a feeling that this isn't going to go over well....sorry!). Kidding, besides.

M- Filer said...

Yeah but how do you REALLy feel?

I passionately hate these expressions:

"no worries"-- it's so lezzy, no offense to the lezzies.

"it's all good"...gag me

"Psych"...fuck and gag me! Wait a minute, that's not what I meant

RAD Homo said...

Dont be so angry TWAN!....No its all good...rant and rave baby-Lord knows we all need to do it every now and then....

Mark in DE said...

Oh my god, I TOTALLY know what you mean! That, like, Valley Girl talk is, like, totally annoying!

Full-face visors? Have these people never heard of sunscreen with SPF?

The sweaty machinery is just gross. I don't think I could use the machine if I saw it dripping with some pig's sweat.

Mark :-)

Chris said...

Definately, there should be a penalty for Valley Speak. Maybe 23staples to the forehead.

cb said...

Do the girls also upspeak?? Because I love it? When they, like, end everything? With a question mark?

You know?

Christopher said...

Shirl: have you had some work done? you're looking a little androgynous.

Paulie: Bring it!

Scot: YES!!

Joe: But you told me that you swallow?!

Big Poppa: It's an Asian thing.

Lewis: I'm cool with charity!

M-filer: Lezzy indeed...and I think Rad wants you to gag him!

Rad (Blaine): I love that "Living Color" reference!

Mark: Word up, Homo!

Chris: I've got the stapler ready!

cb: hahaha...thankfully they don't do that yet...but I know exactly what you mean?

Bruce said...

Obviously you've been hanging out in the wrong areas of LA with the full face visors. Of course I work in the plastic surgery capital of the world where EVERYTHING (except me) is nice and tight and tanned beyond belief. It's always something!

Anonymous said...

The sweat at the gym think infuriates me and grosses me out. I know I've gotten sick (not from sweat, but well maybe...) so many times from germs from the gym. I've actually given up some exercises while there when I see sweat. Gross.

Jim said...

I'm like so sure. As if. I abso-fuckin-lutly do not like talk like that. Nuh-uh!

Natalie said...

I feel your angst! I have a mother and sister who spit like a pimp on a ho.