Monday, March 31, 2008

Forgetful Fool

Last Friday, as I was leaving my office (ECSTATIC that the weekend was finally here), I noticed from the building's entrance that my car wasn't where I'd parked it. I was running a little late in the morning, so when I got to work the lot was already full & I was forced to park on the street. Slightly panicking, I tried to relive the morning in my mind,..I could clearly picture myself parking on the street, across from the house with the yellow irises...and right now that spot was clearly empty.

I had a sudden flashback to a summer memory from my preteen years. I was locking up my beloved cherry-red Schwinn beach cruiser at my local public swimming pool. As I was wrapping the chain through the front tire, a guy sitting on the grass nearby (with 3 other losers) yelled at me to "lock that bike up real good boy, cuz it might not be there when you get done swimming."

When I finished my swimming session, I noticed that he wasn't BS'ing me, My bike was gone....well, most of it. In my ignorance, I only locked up the front tire, so all the guy had to do was detach the tire from the frame and he had a nearly new bike. I froze in place when I saw the locked tire. I was too embarrassed to walk any where near the bike rack, so I walked home...crying most of the way. I remember getting yelled at by my father when I told him what had happened. I remember yelling back at him that I had paid for the bike with the money I earned from mowing lawns and that he had no reason to yell at me. I also remember the slap that I got for yelling at him.

*** End of Flashback ***

A few moments later, my body is awash in embarrassment. I feel extremely foolish. I feel somewhat senile, but mostly I feel relieved....why, you's because at that glorious moment, I remembered that I moved my car at lunch, and there she sat in the middle of the parking lot.

Hmm...the joys (?!) of getting older.

Shut up, I can hear you all snickering...bitches!


cb said...

So, um-- where do you put the 'walker'? The trunk or the passenger seat?

(oh, and I'm not THAT cunty, you bitch!)

Christopher said...

cb: In the's cherry red and it's the shit...oh, and bite me!

Anonymous said...

oh thank sweet Jebus I am not the only one that has done this! I parked on the other side of the building at work once and was panicked when I walked up and down the parking lot wondering what to do next! then it hit me I had parked on the other side of the building, only because it was the only place left after going out to lunch.

Lewis said...

not so much snickering as in "snickering AT you," but snickering WITH you. in full rememberance that we all do those sorts of things and that it turned out as well as it did.

Big Daddy said...

That happened to me in a parking garage!

I forgot which level I parked on and was convinced that someone stole my car.

I was on my way to get security when I realized my mistake.

Darth Gateau said...

you dizzy queen!

Actually, I've had to walk around an airport car park pressing my lock/unlock button to detect my flashing lights in order to locate my car. It was a fraught 15 minutes.

OK. How/when do yuo want your London Homo-Guide?

Mark in DE said...

I must admit, this has also happened to me. What's worse than that initial panic followed by the sick stomach when you think you're car is gone!

Mark :-)

J. David Zacko-Smith said...


Really I shouldn't though, last week I put the tea kettle away IN THE REFRIGERATOR!

Greg said...

The Senior Moment strikes again! Bwahahahaha!!!

franck said...

That's not snickering, that's laughing out loud you're hearing.
But yes, I have had similar experiences... ever since I was 25!

Christopher said...

You're getting old, but we are STILL making out!