Saturday morning I was woken (awoken?, waked? awaken? your place or mine?) by the annoying sound of the doorbell...at the ungodly hour of 8:00 am...did I mention that it was Saturday morning and I am NOT a morning person.
[Sidebar]: Why is it that (a slight) panic always washes over me when I hear the doorbell ring or a knock at the door? It's as if the Truth Police have finally tracked me down and have come to collect me for all of the lies/phoning it in/half-truths I've committed throughout my fagulous life...I just don't understand this nonsense.
Anyhoo...about a full minute after the doorbell rang, there's a knock on the door...[gasp! they're still out there!]... I peek out my bedroom window (which faces the street), and what I see standing on the front porch scares the hell out of me...Jehovah's Witnesses.
Another minute passes and they are still standing on the porch. It's too early in the morning for my usual smart ass antics. I just don't have the energy that early in the morning to have a little fun with them, so I do not throw open the door wearing only my underwear & an erection...nor do I pay tribute to one of my Mama's old tricks of getting down on all fours and barking like a dog (behind the closed door of course)...I'm not shitting you, my Mom used to do this whenever we had Jehovah's pay us a visit, and it made them leave every time...I take that back, there was one exception...she got called out on her "barking" by a JH that said: "nice try, Sir".
So, I waited until they finally moved on to their next victim before I got out of bed & took care of that erection made breakfast.