Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lucky Fool


This past Saturday, my family celebrated my mother's birthday by taking her to her local hang out...Soboba Casino. I swear my mother is the Slot Machine Whisperer...she walks up to a machine, gets a vibe, and if it's good vibe will sit and turn $5 into $100 quicker than I can lose $20. My intention was to spend no more than $100...and I ended up coming home with $60 more than I walked in with...Woot!

I had so much fun and couldn't believe that 4 hours had passed so quickly. My brother had brought a small Buddha "statue' with him for good luck...so common that one. I made fun of him for bringing it, but when my luck started to turn against me, he told me to "talk dirty to the little fatty...he likes it and he'll reward you for doing so"....So I did. I rubbed his crotch (Buddha's not my brother's) and told him I'd toss his salad if he brought me luck. Buddha really must like a clean bung hole, because he immediately turned my luck around!

Over dinner, my Dad (who didn't go to the casino with us due to a migraine) asked how much my Mom had won. My brother said "Oh, at least $500"....to which Mom quickly spoke up with "I did not...more like $50"....and then, when Papa wasn't looking, she shot my brother the dirtiest look that said so many words...and some of the words were even in Spanish.

Now I'm itching to go to Vegas. The Wynn keeps sending me offers, but I'm holding out until they send me their $99 per night special (weekends included!!). It appears that the $200 I lost in their casino last year (?) has me pegged as a high roller...who knew?

ps: My apologies to any Buddhists that I may have offended.

12 comments:

Projekt R3volution said...

Next time take me along and rub my crotch for good luck!

Silly Billy said...

Now who doesn't really like a clean bung hole - ok, don't answer that.

Shirley Heezgay! said...

that was hysterical

too many visuals at once.

Jim said...

Please send me clean bung hole Buddah for me to take on my next trip to Vegas.

Lewis said...

You can rub my belly anytime for good luck.

Alex said...

Please, projekt!!! We see him rubbing your crotch all the time, and still have one the lotto!!! I am suing for false advertisement!!!

Romach said...

They sound like my parents. My mum goes to Bingo and she could maybe win hundreds of pounds but she will swear the rest of the family to secrecy and only tell my dad shes won a few pounds lol

Michael Guy said...

I've never really been able to rub much of anything for luck in Las Vegas. Just saying.

cb said...

I don't think the true Buddha would care-- as he didn't think he should be idolized or worshipped.

But still!!! You naughty little monkey!

cb said...

And you should refer to it as his "budd hole".

Christian said...

Take me to Wynn with you! I want to stay there!

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