Thursday, July 3, 2008

Hurts So Un-Good

This morning I woke up about 1/2 an hour before the alarm clock went off. I woke up in pain. Excruciating pain. At approximately 6:00 am, I suffered the worse calf muscle cramp I've ever felt. The pain that shot through my left leg was so bad that it caused me send up a desperate prayer to the Little Baby Jebus to rescue me from the pain...but he was too busy listening to legit prayers from the Non-Heathens....so I screamed into my pillow, banged my fist on the mattress, and waited for the pain to pass. The cramping lasted maybe 30 seconds, but it felt like eternity.

It's been several hours since the attack, and my leg is still VERY sore. I truly believe that Karma is real...and she's a real Bitch that'll come for you sooner or later. I used to laugh at my Dad whenever he'd wake up from a leg cramp screaming " SonuvaBitch, SonuvaBitch...Dirty Muthaf*cker...Faaaaaaaaaaaaack!". I laughed, not because he was in pain, but because it sounded hilarious to hear him yelling out obscenities [first in English and then he'd throw out some in Spanish].

He prophetically declared, after an early morning cramp session: "Yeah keep laughing Cabron...you'll be my age some day, and then you'll know just how bad the pain is"...Papa was right.

I think from now on, just to be safe, I'm going to stop teasing him that he's shrinking.

14 comments:

Greg said...

Oh geez, I LOATHE early morning muscle cramps like that. My parents used to say that I it meant I needed to eat more bananas. For the potassium.

jason said...

It is a scary day indeed when we begin to become our parents.

They do have the last laugh, I think.

Robert said...

"...so I screamed into my pillow, banged my fist on the mattress, and waited for the pain to pass."

Are you sure that Paulie wasn't in the room looking at the back of your head?! Hmm... Sure sure??? :-)

Happy 4th you two!

Shirley Heezgay! said...

the only thing worse than those early morning cramps are the earlier morning cramps...the ones that throttle you from out of a deep sleep and seem like they will never stop.

Romach said...

Oh buddy, I hope you haven't got bad circulation! You should have that checked out or the baby Jesus my smack your botty!

"Just David!" said...

Shrinkage is nothing to laugh about!!

Lexx said...

Only let a Doctor, after a full G.I. exam tell you how to combat this. I didn't and let MS take a hold of me when it wasn't necessary. The body reacts in certain ways for a REASON.

Till then, Greg is right. Make a bananna your last meal of the night and the jarring gramp cramps will stop.

Happy Independence weekend baybeee!

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

I can honestly say that I've never, ever had such a thing - thankfully. I did read, however. that massaging the affected muscle is supposed to help (Men's Health Magazine). ;-)

WillySmith said...

Pain is just a friendly reminder that you're still alive.

Anonymous said...

You should stretch the calf of the cramped leg by bringing your toes toward your knee and massage it at the same time. By activating the antagonist muscle the calf just releases. Stretch more often too.

dit said...

that sounds very painful. Cramps are awful, I can not imagine being wakened by one. Hoper its a long time before you have to experience that again.

Christopher said...

LMAO at Robert's comment.

Thanks for the advice y'all...I'm eating bananas on the daily now and making sure to stretch.

cb said...

If and when the next one strikes, you should get out of bed and try to put some pressure on your foot to try to relax/stretch it out. And then walk it off

I used to get some killer calf cramps when I was swimming more.

Mark in DE said...

Like it or not, we usually turn into our parents. A very frightening thought for some of us.

Mark :-)