Monday, September 22, 2008

The Killing Jar

I can't remember the last time I screamed like a little girl....wait, that's not true...I do remember, since it happened only last Friday.

After dinner (last Friday), I went outside to sit on the front porch...truth be told, I was gaseous and didn't want to stink up the house. As soon as I opened the screen door, something flew into my hair & then quickly flew off of me, into the house and towards the front living room window. That's when I screamed like a little girl.

A GIANT grasshopper was sitting on the window's blinds...taunting me with it's alien face.

I ran into the kitchen to get a glass jar from the cabinet under the sink. I recycle pasta sauce jars for storing coins, disposing used cooking oil (I never pour oil down the sink as it clogs the pipes...I prefer to send it to the landfill), saving spare hardware, and now for catching grasshoppers. I had heard that these insects are so stupid that if you hold a glass jar or plastic bag in front of it, it'll jump right into it.....and that's true, because this little bastard jumped right into my jar.

After capturing it, I set it on the window sill in the kitchen. I had planned on throwing it away in the morning. Weeeellll, I forgot all about it until Sunday morning. Since the jar lid didn't have any air holes punched into it, the poor thing died....so sad.

After looking at all of the damage the grasshopper caused in my garden (he practically ate an entire rose bush) this morning, I really don't feel that bad at all.

Here's a little song for y'all that's very appropriate...The Killing Jar by Siouxsie and the Banshees


11 comments:

A Lewis said...

Is there an audio clip of your screaming? We simply must hear.

franck said...

Grasshoppers, like most creepy crawlies totally freak me out.
Siouxsie, on the other hand, is lovely, I met her about two months ago.

Steven said...

:P

Thanks, I needed that.

Leonardo D'Cato said...

don't worry, the little guy had it coming. LOL.

Chris said...

I've had all my tomatoes eaten by a single evil squirrel.

I'm going to stock up on jars for next summer, but I'm going to throw them at the squirrel.

cb said...

Murderer.

Mark in DE said...

Every time you masturbate God kills a grasshopper.

Mark :-)

Michael Guy said...

I was all 'live and let live' until you got to the chewed roses bushes. DIE FUCKER, DIE!!!

Chris said...

Mark, I'm suprised there are any grasshoppers left.

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

I'm not sure a grasshopper would eat a rose bush . . . but it's a cute story, anyway (except for the death part). :-)

RAD said...

So your a screamer huh? Sexy!