Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I Dream of Gnocchi !

So today is Day 3 of my "no carbs" diet. It's really not that bad, since I'm basically just eating loads of meats & eggs....but I am noticing that the 2 things I'm missing the most (breads & pasta) are all around me...especially at the place where I'm at my weakest, the workplace. I walked into the office today to be greeted by a coworker with a basket full of fresh pumpkin bread....Oh Devil, how you tempt me!!

I went to the gym last night, just for shits-n-giggles, and I actually did giggle when I walked through the men's locker room. There was an elderly gentleman posing in the mirror, wearing only a pair of red speedos....oh yeah, and under the speedos, he was DEFINITELY wearing a diaper. There was no way that his old ass was that lumpy. At first I felt bad for the old fart, but then I thought, nah, he should know better than to wear speedos over a diaper.

I thought about this man on my drive home and I started to get a little jealous. I'd love to be able to wear a diaper and just shit myself whenever nature called...what a relief that must be. No more panicking while out in public, desperately looking for a clean restroom.

Suddenly, the future got just a little brighter!

...

14 comments:

dit said...

Good luck on your new diet. We went on a low-carb diet awhile back. It seemed to work, but not easy when we were tempted with Pumpkin Bread! lol

Very good for you, going to the gym. I found the 1st few days of the low-carb zapped most of my energy.

Now, we cant all go around with lumpy asses. . . now can we? lol I suppose we could.

David Dust said...

A few years ago I lost 90 pounds doing low/no carbs - and I kept it off for a year or so. But those bread and fast food cravings eventually did me in.

Keep up the good work!

XO

Big Daddy said...

So what's your stance on fruits and veggies?

I know some people who even cut those out for a brief period on a no-carb diet.

Christopher said...

Big Poppa: Carrots & Broccoli are still on the menu, as they're pretty low in carbs...fruits will be a little more restricted though...ugh!

Christopher said...

Dit: Pumpkin bread is all around e...Help!

David: Wow! 90 lbs...that's great...and congrats on your recent weight loss successes!

romach said...

Hey buddy, do the diets after Crimbo! You should be getting ready to eat everything in site now that its the season to be merry lol

Leonardo D'Cato said...

gnocchi is like my favorite! good luck on your diet. i know this no carb thing is a killer. as for the diapers...sounds like a good idea. i hate public bathrooms. LOL.

A Lewis said...

Carbs are EVERYWHERE...in nearly every product on every shelf in every cupboard. It's almost impossible to escape.

"Just David!" said...

As someone who's been wearing diapers for the last few weeks, it's not as much fun as you might think. Although, when this is over, I am going to pee in one just to see if it really works that well, as a reference for old age only! Ok, and laziness! I can't imagine he'd swim in one though, you'd think it'd weigh him down and he'd sink like a brick!

RAD said...

wow good luck with the diet...And If needed I have a few coupons for Depends I can forward over if you want :-)

Brad said...

diapers might be convenient but think of the stench

keep working out bro, it'll help force your body to crave only good food

Kevin said...

You're just messed up is all. Have one tiny carb and the desire to SHIT YOURSELF will pass.

Rick Andreoli said...

The holidays are a super rough time to go low-carb, but if you need any recipes let me know.

(As a food writer, and a vain one, I've found ways to make it work.)

Best of luck!

Mark in DE said...

1. How do people LIVE without carbs? Why would you WANT TO LIVE if you can't eat carbs?
2. I guess that's the bright side of aging?

Mark :-)