Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy Leap Year !

I really should have taken this day off to celebrate the 4-year anniversary of an additional day being added to the month of February, for which I'm not (technically) paid for.

To teach The Man a lesson, I'm not going to work today....maybe I'll just spend my day at work reading blogs or tending to my latest addiction: Online Scrabble....I've given up playing Solitaire recently & have moved onto a more cerebral game (yeah, I can spell)....but what's up with all the wordsmiths out there (whupping my butt) that come up with words like : DROUSER, FIASCHI, or EFFLEURAGE (I just lost to someone who used all 3 of these !)

Screw Scrabble...I'm moving onto Poppit....now there's a brain teaser.

Pop that Coochie...Pop-Pop that Coochie!......Wheeeeeee!!


Thursday, February 28, 2008

Under Where?

When I did laundry last Sunday, I left behind a large pile of sorted underoos that were severely skid marked needed to be washed...so now my underwear drawer is down to a few of my least favorite pairs.

This morning, I made a discovery way in the back of the drawer. I found a nearly new pair of black boxer briefs that I don't remember buying, but whatev, they're clean.

Jockey made this pair a little longer than other boxer briefs I own (about as long as biking shorts), so I guess they're some mutant-athletic style. I love 'em! They make my legs look muscular, my ass looks like it actually exists, and my twig & berries look ripe. They may not be the most sexxxy looking thing, but they're super comfy...and afterall, it's not about what you wear, but how you wear it (can I get an amen?)

I love how new chonies feel...if I won the lottery, I'd buy a new pair for every day of the year. Now I'm curious about y'all: what kind of underwear do you prefer:

  • Boxers
  • Briefs
  • Boxer Briefs
  • Thong
  • Jock Strap
  • Commando

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Things That Be Workin' My Last Nerve


  • Thirty-year old coworkers that speak in "Valley Girl". I get so tired of hearing: "....and I was all", "...."and he was all"..."and I'm totally like going..."... Every. Single. Day. All. Day. Long.....and to make my eye twitch even worse, whenever they get excited (which is often), they tend to speak in a sped up, high pitched voice that drives me insane. Grow up already and learn a real dialect....like Ebonics!


  • Maybe it's the area of L.A. where I work...I dunno...but I see a helluva lot of people sporting full face sun visors...I'm sorry if this sounds petty, but y'all look like assholes. Seriously. I know that the sun's UV rays are damaging to your facial beauty, but knock it off and deal with the carcinoma....kidding...sorta.


  • Getting on an elliptical machine at the gym, that's soaked with the previous pig's sweat. Jebus...wipe down the machine before your nasty ass exits...I really hate wasting my clean towel on a stranger's sweat!


  • Speaking of nasty people's fluids.. I seem to have become a magnet lately for people to spit on during a conversation. If you do happen to spit on me, please, at least own up to it and wipe the spittle off of me...and an apology would be appreciated as well.



...Today's post has been brought to you by WTF Wednesdays...

Monday, February 25, 2008

I Love Butter !

The weekend flew by waaayyy too fast, and now I'm feeling a little cheated as I type up this post inside my 3 walled prison.

On Saturday, I had dinner with my long-lost-recently-found-high-school-best-friend, Paul. Honestly, I wasn't expecting for Paul to contact me after I just showed up at his office without any warning, but he did. Actually his wife called me to ask if I'd be interested in going to dinner with them & their 2 kids. Dinner was at Gladstone's in Long Beach, and I have to recommend the "clam bake for 2" dinner (lobster, crab, shrimp, clams, and butter....oh my!!).

It's funny, how after not seeing each other for over 20 years, it felt like we just picked up from where we left off. We were both surprised by how many memories that we still had, but needed to seriously edit ourselves, as our kids were listening to the adventures of our somewhat misguided youth.

Paul's 3 kids are all under 6 years old, and when the birthday boy, at the table next to us, got a GIANT martini glass filled with blue cotton candy, all they could do was stare (I was staring too). So I took the embarrassment & lied to our waitress, telling her that it was my birthday too...at least I got a pinch of the cotton candy before it disappeared.

We've already made plans for another dinner in a few weeks, and his wife (who's tres cool) asked me if I could please get him out of the house & take him drinking every once in awhile. I'm so happy that I've reconnected with my friend...God bless the Power of the Internet!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Tagged !

My friend James (the Skinny Canadian Bitch) tagged me to complete a meme (awhile ago), and I'm finally getting 'round to it...sorry for the delay Jimmy...I was going poo-poo.

Basically, the goal of the meme is to write about three reasons why I write this blog....so, here you go:

1. It's a creative outlet for me. My occupation is anything but creative, so I find that writing provides me with that fix that I need. Writing forces me to think in terms of how I would express what's bopping around in my kanoodle, and then put it down in written word.

2. Blogging has been a way for me to create my own personal anthology. I often go back and read some of my previous posts, and sometimes I'll think: "what the hell?...I sound like an a-hole", and other times I'll read a previous post & remember something that had slipped out of recent memory. It's interesting to see how much life can change in a relatively short amount of time. In a way, blogging (for me) is similar to writing in a diary and then making it public.

3. I do it for the social aspect. Through this medium, I have met some AMAZING people that I am blessed and fortunate to now call "friend". If you're reading this, I'm probably talking about you. Honestly, the quality of people that blog is far greater than anyone that I could ever meet on MySpace or in a chat room. Through blogging, commonalties are discovered & friendships are formed. In reading other folk's blogs, I've laughed hysterically, fought back tears, cheered at other's triumphs, and felt saddened at other's defeats. The best part of blogging is getting to meet the blogger in person. This is something that I'd like to do a lot more of. LA bloggers...let's meet up!

So there you have it...I'm not going to tag anyone else, but please feel free to play along and let others know why you blog...inquiring minds want to know!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Watching You Watching Me

Maybe I'm old-fashioned. Maybe I have a cold heart....but when I end relationships with people, it's over. I don't want to know what's going on in their lives. I couldn't care less what they're thinking or feeling. I just want to relegate them to my past. So I find it odd when people from my past are still interested in me & my life.

I can understand stumbling across my blog. This is a public forum and if I wanted to hide it, I could make it private. That's not going to happen. There's no shame in my game. However, when someone from my past actively seeks this blog out, it just begs the question: "why?"

I guess I should find it a nice stroke to the ego, but I don't. I find it strange. I wonder if the lurker(s) know that I have a little HTML code embedded in my blog that tracks EVERYONE that visits here. If you're a stats whore like me, you might want to check out Sitemeter. It's free, and will let you know where your visitors are coming from (city, IP address, & latitude/longitude map coordinates), when they visit, how long they visited your blog, and a whole lot more data.

I recently had Paul install the coding on his blog...very interesting who visits his site as well.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Who I'd Like to Meet

Kenneth Cole


  • Chairman & CEO: Kenneth Cole Productions

  • Author: Footnotes

  • Chairman: amfAR (American Foundation for Aids Research)

  • Humanitarian, Activist, Philanthropist, & Sexy MuthaF*ucker

I loves me some KFC KC. I wear his shoes, clothes, belts, wallets, and even my bag is a Kenneth Cole New York. I'm a walking billboard for the company. Part of my annual trip to NYC always includes stopping at the Fifth Ave store, to finger all of the products that my budget won't allow, but dammit if I don't walk out of there with a little sumpin.

J'adore everything that this fashion house puts out. The styles are always classic, and I'm all about looking like a classy bitch! I have shirts from KC that I bought maybe 9 years ago (don't wear them...I'm just too cheap to toss them), that would still look fresh today (with a little starch & bleach).

One of my favorite quotes from Mr Cole is : "it is great to be known for your shoes. It is even better to be recognized for your soul".

...oh yeah...he's straight...le sigh!


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day !

In elementary school I loved Valentine's Day. Back then, it meant bringing home cheap, supermarket bought Valentine's cards, that were exchanged just before the classroom party...and that meant cupcakes, fruit punch, and heart shaped candies...you know the ones right? Those chalky, pastel hearts that were stamped with expressions of love...Mmm, good times!

As an adult, it never really meant that much to me. I saw through the commercialism of it all & didn't buy into it. Although, I have enjoyed many a Valentine's Day themed candy year after year, but I digress.

Looking back at V-Day 2007, I wasn't really feeling the love then. For me, it was a day of reflection on how I was so damn tired of playing the dating game, and not getting much out of it. I realized that I had said goodbye to my twenties a long time ago, and I questioned whether or not I'd find someone to love (and someone to love me back equally)...I shivered at the idea that I may have to give that notion up & lower my standards...and to settle for someone that'd be mere companionship...how do you say in your language: drama queen?

But a lot can happen in a year's time. In regards to my love life, I'm in a very different place this year. I found someone that I've been waiting a lifetime for, someone that makes me quiver with goosebumps when I look across the room at, someone that "gets me" & all of my quirks, someone that makes me laugh like no other has, someone that makes my toes curl & my heart pound, someone that I'm so damn proud of...and yes, someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

For the very first time, in my 40 years, I'm in love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Screaming Seams


I was planning on writing a brilliant post when I got back from lunch, but right about now, I'm feeling super bloated & can't think straight (har!)...It must be the ghost of yesterday's white bean turkey chili that I ate.

Today was really a bad day to wear my skinny khaki pants...and I want a refund on these damn gas relief meds that I just bought (Extra Strength my arse!)...I'm praying to the Little Baby Jebus that he'll give me a magic fart to give me some relief. Thanks for listening y'all!

I kinda feel like this poor lady:




Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A Fine Day



Reasons why I should be at home today, instead of pretend-working at the hated J-O-B:
  • The weather...today's high is supposed to hit 80.
  • I hate my job.
  • I think I left the iron on.
  • I feel the desperate need to pleasure myself, and I hate loving myself at the office.
  • I hate my coworkers.
  • I'm expecting a package in the mail, and I'm getting nervous that the thieving kids in my neighborhood will snatch it if I get home too late.
  • My boss is out sick today.
  • I forgot to set the chicken out (to thaw) for tonight's dinner.
  • I hate my f*ckin job.
  • The thong I'm wearing is starting to chafe my tender skin.

All valid points, no?

Monday, February 11, 2008

Naughty by Nature





Sometimes Mother Nature gets a little "creative"...I'm suddenly in the mood for red potatoes!


Friday, February 8, 2008

Reconnected



Vince Clarke & Alison Moyet, of Yaz (or Yazoo) fame, have recently announced that they will reunite for the first time in over 25 years...but dammit...they're only playing in London...where are the cool shit happens. Why couldn't I have been born an English Latino? I blame my deprived existence on my parents....I do! The duo is getting together for Reconnected, a UK tour happening this June.

The tour is preceded by In Your Room, a 4 disc box set which includes: remasters and mixes of Yaz's classic albums Upstairs At Eric's & You And Me...the box set will also contain B-sides and a DVD featuring a new short film, containing interviews with Vince and Alison, as well as the promo videos for Don't Go, The Other Side Of Love, Nobody's Diary, Situation, and Only You. I'll be adding this box set to my Amazon Wishlist soon....hint-hint!

Yaz released Upstairs At Eric's in July 1982 then soon parted company after releasing the second album, You And Me Both, which reached #1 in the UK...they are one of my all time favorite 80's New Wave bands back in the day,and I think I'm going to have to follow Joe's idea of offering up body organs in exchange for tickets to this concert. Where my UK readers at? Holla at a young'n!


Vince Clarke whispered in my ear: "It's been really good going back to these
songs after such a long while. Many of them have never been played live. I'm
looking forward to performing them with Alison for all the fans who've enjoyed
our music through the years but never had a chance to see Yazoo in concert."

Alison Moyet: cooed: "Playing this material live is not about revision for me,
it is about finishing something we started - writing, recording, performing.
Three parts of a whole. A salmon cycle. It's like going home."

Shirley recently posted about another one of my favorite bands, the Thompson Twins....well it turns out that they'll also be releasing reissues of Quick Step & Side Kick and Into The Gap next month. The reissues come complete with extended remixes found on the original cassettes and all of the related bonus tracks!...'08 is all about the '80's.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Found

All throughout junior high & most of high school, I had a best friend named Paul. We were BFFs, true partners in crime...inseparable. We shared everything: music (cassette tapes), clothes, and even enemies. Then, in our junior year, we got into a huge (stupid) argument that ended our friendship. Both of us were too proud & stubborn to make the 1st move towards reconciliation, and I lost my best friend that year. We'd pass each other in the halls glaring at first, but then eventually we became invisible to each other. Paul had kept me focused & on the right path towards completing high school with a high GPA. With him out of the picture, my grades suffered the final year of high school. I'm not blaming him for that, it's just that I lost that scholastic/competitive spirit (I ended up with a 3.0, but I know it would've been much higher, had I been a better friend).

I often thought of him throughout the years. I'd wonder what he'd think of 'this or that', what he looked like now, was he bald...or fat? But above all, I wondered if he still had the same avant-garde sense of style he once had. You see, the 2 of us brought many styles into vogue, to our high school campus (mid-80's).

Some of you may be of a certain age to remember jeans that had hip & knee fold down pockets (with snap closures)...we were the first to wear those to our high school. We were also the first to wear tank tops over t-shirts, dress shirts with brooches at the collar, blazers with crests sewn on the chest pocket, rolled pant legs, and then there were the 501's, that we'd bleach thick, vertical stripes into the jeans using masking tape as guides.

Are you picturing Duckie? Yeah, that was my nickname. We were also the first to sport espadrilles (way before the malls started to sell them in every color of the rainbow), and then there were the kung-fu slippers that we once got ridiculed for wearing by some jocks (who thought that they weren't so 'gay' the following school year)...how we never got our fey asses kicked is beyond me.

Anyhoo, through the power of the internet, I found Paul. I was too nervous to call him directly and toyed for several weeks with just showing up at his office (he's an optometrist with an office about 30 miles away from me). So a couple of weeks ago, I tossed fear aside and drove to his office.

I walked into his busy office and there he was, talking to a patient. I felt incredibly awkward standing there, waiting. When he finished talking to her, he turned around, looked at me & recognized me instantly. We shook hands, spoke for about a minute, but he had to tend to another patient waiting for him in his office, so I sat in the waiting area for him. When he was finished with his last appointment, I watched Paul walk pass me and into his office. I sat in the waiting area for another 15 minutes and began to get the urge to flee. Another 10 minutes had passed, and now I was starting to feel a little foolish/pissed/confused.

So I get up to leave and ask the receptionist if I can leave Paul my contact info. She tells me to wait a sec while she calls him to remind him that I'm still here. So, out he comes, and asks me if I need help choosing a pair of frames.....huh? I explain that I'm there to just say hello & maybe re-establish a friendship. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes. He said that he's recently tried to find me, but obviously had no luck.

It's amazing how he hasn't aged at all (betch!). He's married now and has 3 very young children. He gave me all of his contact info (work, cell, and home phone #'s) and gave me explicit instructions to not leave a voicemail on his work phone #, but instead to have his receptionist page him. Paul seemed very serious about staying in contact and even mentioned that we should get together for dinner soon, but I don't know...I'm not sure where this friendship is going. We're two very different people now. My gut feeling is that I won't be hanging out with him anytime soon, and I'm doubtful that dinner's going to happen.

I sorta got a weird vibe waiting for him in the waiting area. I mean, if someone I haven't seen in over 20 years was waiting in my office, I'd be really anxious to get to him/her to catch up. Honestly, I'm ok if nothing further happens. I accomplished what I set out to do. I feel content just knowing that my friend is alive & well...the ball's in his court now.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

WTF Wednesday


Driving to my local dry cleaners the other day, I noticed the car in the adjacent lane had an unusual personalized license plate. The owner of this car decided that it'd be a good idea to let his fellow drivers know that he is a "MASC BTM" .

I shit you not. I even have a witness...although, my teen daughter has no idea what it means...she guessed that it has something to do with "masks".

Oh, and the way this man was smoking a ciggie, he was anything but MASC.

In other news, Paul finally found his reading glasses....it appears that his little lap doggie had stolen them.






Workin It !

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Vote Baby Vote !

It's Super Tuesday (in my home state), so I'ma listen to Lady Miss Kier & vote (for Lady Miss Hillary)...after lunch!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Celebrating Groundhog Day



Will & a Hobbit...and Scot (in the background, fixing me a drink)

Saturday night, I attended the only party in town worth checking out....The Groundhog Day party hosted by Scot, of Scot Not Scott fame. Scot's the perfect host and he has quite the loverly home (I snapped a few furtive pics for some design ideas...we have very similar tastes), and I got a look at his new car (she's a beauty)...Thanks again Scot, I had a great time!

Also attending the party was fellow blogger, Will, from WAT Central....Will (or is it Wil?) does a killer Carol Channing impersonation and has some seriously cool friends!

After the party, I headed over to Oil Can Harry's with Paul (ay, Papi!), to meet up with some friends for even more drinking & some disco dancing. I've been to OCH's before, but it was a long time ago and on Halloween. The homos/fag hags here take Disco VERY seriously!

A great weekend, indeed....oh, and the good people in our I.T. department have decided to lift the block on blogs, so I can read my favorite blogs here at the j-o-b!...Methinks that someone in the Internet Security department is a blogger....woot!

GRRRrrr!!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Troupe Grandly Improvs Freeze-in (or TGIF)





Improv Everywhere strikes again...Over 200 agents from the troupe Improv Everywhere staged a 5 minute "freeze-in" inside the main concourse of NYC's Grand Central Terminal. I wouldv'e loved to have seen this in person, or better yet, to be a part of this performing art piece.

Check out the site for pics & video:

http://www.improveverywhere.com/2008/01/31/frozen-grand-central/


Yes, Bitches, I do have Love for New York....just not this one: