Thursday, May 29, 2008

I'm the One You Want

Last Thursday I went on a job interview for a position within my current company. That's one of the good things about the company that I currently work for...it's such a large corporation with many different business units and there are so many different areas to move about. Transferring to another department is also a very good way to get a 5-8% pay bump.

Honestly, I think I did very well during the interview. I'm up against 7 other people...that's not a lot...in my current position I was up against 25 others. After the interview was over, I was told that they'd let all of the candidates know if they were chosen or not probably by Wednesday. So here I sit at my desk (and it's Thursday), constantly checking for emails or voicemails. I even checked my phone to make sure that it was working.

I really want this job. It's heavy involvement in a new field of technology that I'm seriously interested in, and it would really look good on my resume...not to mention that my commute time would be cut in half!

Well, it's lunchtime and I'm hungry...a coworker is wanting me to go with him to a local sushi bar to grab some yummy-ness [Mmmm....sashimi...mmmm !]...but I'm debating on heading out or just staying in and running down to the cafeteria and then rushing back to my desk...just in case they call....how desperate am I ?!

...

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Suck it in Fatty !

Last week, I picked up 2 new pair of pants for work. Both pair of pants were marked way down...from $65 down to $20 (for Claiborne pants)...[woot!]...This morning I had a hard time squeezing my fat ass into my pants...that I just bought less than a week ago....that fit me perfectly at the time. I know I ate a little less than healthy over the weekend, but I didn't gorge myself! ....WTF??!!

I had a moment of clarity around 10:30 this morning, and the mystery of the ill-fitting pants was solved. There I was, sitting on my porcelain throne, about to make my morning offering(s) to the terlet gods, when I realized why the pants were a little tight.

Whenever I try on clothes and then decide to make the purchase, I leave behind the pair I just tried on and grab a fresh/never-worn-before pair from the rack. Even though my butt was the last one to wear the pants, I have to have a new-new pair. I'm quirky like that....lick me!

So with my legs spread wide and my pants draped around my ankles, I reached down for my throbbing... could clearly see the tag on the pants. Looks like I mistakenly grabbed the wrong size (one size smaller) pants off of the rack...damn my quirks!

Maybe it was a good thing that I grabbed the wrong size...what's the word I'm grasping for?...serendipity! A few weeks ago, my fat ass fell off of the diet/gym wagon and landed face first into a 7-layer chocolate cake....with a side of french fries, but I digress. Seems to me that this is a wakeup call that I need to get back in shape.

So now I say Good-bye to carbs & Hello Stranger to the gym....summer's just around the corner...time to work it !

Someone once told me that Baby Jebus doesn't love fat people...I really hope that's a lie.

...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Strange Fruit

For years, Japanese consumers have struggled to fit watermelons into their refrigerators. Japanese farmers have recently solved the problem:

Square Watermelons!



Clever farmers insert the melons into square, tempered glass cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine. Today the watermelons are hand-picked and sadly, only available in Japan....but I guess that's a good thing as these bad boys are expensive....Each melon sells for 10,000 yen, that's equivalent to about $83.



I swear, the Japanese are the most innovative people in the world!


Hai !

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sweet Dreams Are(n't) Made of This


Maybe it was the 3 glasses of Pinot Grigio I chugged post dinner....or maybe it was the bag of microwave popcorn I ate right before bedtime...or maybe it's just me getting nervous over the job interview I have tomorrow morning...not sure what's to blame, but something gave me cause to have a bad dream last night.

So, in this dream, I'm at the movie theater and it's a packed house. I had to squeeze myself down a tight aisle, carrying a ridiculously large "bucket" of popcorn and 2 cans of Coke (I only drink Diet Coke). Right before I get to my seat, a kid grabbed one of my sodas out of my hand. When I sat down, I turned to him and told him to give it back. He just shook his head "no". Then I try to get his father's attention, but daddy's gone deaf and blind and just ignores me. At this point, I start to yell at the kid's Dad...he still ignores me and people in the audience are yelling at me to shut up.

Since I'm clearly a stingy bastard concerned about this child's teeth, I get out of my seat and get in this kid's face to demand my soda back. At this point, things get ugly and the little monster grabs the top of my head with both of his hands and digs his finger nails into my head. I grabbed him by the neck, and just as I'm about to strangle him, my alarm clock goes off.

Soooo not fair!

A few minutes later, I'm in the shower singing Milkshake washing my hair and I notice a sore spot on the right side of my head. Looks like I got a little bit too much into role playing during that damn dream, and I gave myself a nice little scratch on my head.

Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't strangle that kid after all, otherwise I'd probably have some interesting neck marks as well.

...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

2008 Long Beach Pride Parade Pics

Here are a few pics from Sunday's parade...












Monday, May 19, 2008

Pride; Of A Different Kind

On Sunday morning, I walked from my house to Ocean Blvd to watch the Gay Pride Parade (pics to follow soon). I foolishly left the house on an empty stomach and with unprotected skin.

After 2 hours of standing in the cruel sun, watching a parade identical to last year's, my hungry tummy and burnt skin were begging for shelter & sustenance. So I walked my burnt, sweaty, messy self on over to a very trendy, yet sophisticated Mexican restaurant that some of you (in the know) may have heard of...Sunday afternoon I lunched at Taco Bell....diet be damned!

When I walked inside T Bell [the men all paused], I noticed that there were about 10 other people ahead of me. It was pretty crowded in the little restaurant , so when a guy standing at the back shouted "Shut Up!", we all turned to see a man glaring at the little cashier. There was hatred beaming from this psycho's eyes. I just knew that things were about to get interesting.

When psycho made his way up to the counter, he told the cashier that if he was going to talk shit about him to say it to his face. The cashier said that he wasn't talking about him, he was just mentioning to his co-worker that after he took his order he was going to take a break.....and that the co-worker said something funny to make him laugh.

Psycho didn't buy the story. He just said :"yeah ...sure!" .

A few minutes go by, and the psycho walks into the patio and sits down at a table near me...lovely!

As I'm inhaling my food, the cashier walks into the patio to clean up...bad decision on his part. Psycho gets out of his chair and walks over to the cashier and gets in his face. Again, the accusations of talking shit start. The cashier again denies any shit talking. As the scared cashier scurried back inside, the psycho starts to follow him, but a man in the patio (wearing a t-shirt that read: The USA Don't Play) stood up & shouted "Hey, why don't you stop harassing the guy."

The following conversation takes place:

Psycho: "And why don't you shut the f*ck up asshole"

Non-Psycho: "Why don't you come over here and make me, bitch. Why don't you bring your little punk ass on over here and start that shit with someone over the age of 16. I bet you get a thrill out of picking on teenagers don't you. You probably even hit women. Come on bitch, talk some shit now...yeah that's what I thought. That's right, sit your stupid ass down and shut the f*ck up."


Oooh, Child, the entire patio went dead silent. Psycho did just as he was told and finally shut the f*ck up. Non-Psycho gets up to leave, but has to first untie the biggest German Shepherd I've ever seen from a tree just outside the patio. He makes a point to walk the dog back through the patio and stops a few feet away from the Psycho to say: "I'm going to do you a favor and leave... before I knock your teeth out."

I have never felt more proud to be an American.

...

Friday, May 16, 2008

Pride; Long Beach Style

This weekend is Long Beach's Gay Pride Festival. It's actually the 25th year of Pride in the LBC, and with the recent news of California ending its ban on gay marriage, it should be quite the celebration!

Some of the headlining acts include: Deborah Cox, The Bangles, KC & The Sunshine Band, & Sheena Easton...talk about going retro!

The weather's supposed to reach the 90's over the weekend (yikes!), so I may have to hide out in a movie theater during the day.

Here's one of the DJ's (identity unknown) that'll be spinning in the dance tent:


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Eww La La !

When I was in Paris, I saw a talk show called On N'est Pas Couche. On the episode I watched there were 2 brothers on the guest panel that I couldn't take my eyes off of. I didn't know who they were, but after a little Internet searching this morning I have uncovered their identities.

They are twin brothers Igor & Grichka Bogdanov. They are of Russian and Austrian descent and live in France. I think they may have had a little bit of work done, but I could be wrong. Click here to find out a little bit more about these boys.



Could this be Mommy?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sex and The City

Here's just a few pics from our trip...most of them are a bit cliche/overly touristy...but whatever! I'm only in about 3 pics out of around 500+ that I took...and none of those were uploaded onto this computer yet, so you won't be seeing my shiny happy face here.

I'm surprised that I didn't take any photos of the gay areas of London or Paris, but a funny thing did happen to me in the homo district of London:

Right smack in the middle of the gay bars/pubs, are a bunch of sex shops/porn shops/peep shows. As I was passing by these shops one night, this guy walks up to me and tells me that on the 2nd floor of the building to the left of us he's "got some hot Brazilian ladies waiting to please me"...and he also has some "Spanish beauties up on the 3rd floor...what's my pleasure?"

I regretfully had to decline, as I was on my way to a bar to get my drink on....oh yeah, and I'm really not into prostitutes much. Boy, was he barking up the wrong tree!



Arc de Triomphe

The Gardens @ Versailles

Hotel de Ville (City Hall)

Yummy Food in China Town (London)



Big Ben


Eiffel Tower (duh!)


Pyramid @ The Lourve


Notre Dame

Hotel Lobby (London Marriott Hotel County Hall)



Upshot of flowers

Courtyard of Buckingham Palace

Courtyard of Buckingham Palace


Buckingham Palace

Monday, May 12, 2008

Back in the (562)

Well, the London/Paris trip was simply awesome. I now want to pack up all of my family, friends, and loved ones and relocate us all to London. The weather was just perfect. I took 3 coats with me and didn't even need the wind breaker. Paris is stunningly beautiful and I wouldn't mind living there, but the language barrier was a bit of a problem.

The US dollar is worthless right now, so everything seemed so damn expensive. I really didn't buy much in either city other than 2 t-shirts (only 7 pounds each) from a funky little shop in Soho. Oh, I got a (much needed) haircut in London, and when the stylist finished he said to me (in an Italian accent): "see...now your face doesn't look so fat"...umm, Thanks (?)

Since neither the BFF or I have been to either city, we ended up being ultra-tourists and checked out all of the typical landmarks/tourist attractions. I have to say that the rumors I heard, prior to leaving, that the English & French really don't care for Americans & that the food is bland/tasteless are simply untrue...the people in both countries are friendly, and I ate some of the best pastries, er, I mean "food" ever in both cities. Oh, and Parisians are some good looking people...seriously attractive and fit. You could always spot the American tourists...they we were the loud/fat ones amongst the pretty people.

While eating dinner at Med Kitchen in London, we noticed that the Coen Brothers were sitting 2 tables over from us...looking all kinds of sloppy....and I almost ran into Pete Burns as he was walking out of a pub in London...I hate to use an antiquated phrase, but she was looking like a Tranny Mess.

I have to admit that it's good to be home again...time to shake off the jet lag (not too bad though) and get caught up on some blog reading. More stories and pics to come soon!

Friday, May 2, 2008

European Vacation


I'm off to the airport in about 15 minutes. I'll be vacationing in London/Paris for the next 9 days...I'm so excited, yet so nervous...I always get that I'm forgetting something feeling.

Posting for the next week or so will be minimal, but I'ma do my best and try to post something everyday.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

The Wheels on the Bus...

I finally solved the problem I was having with my car...I bought a new one. I kinda feel like I had no other choice, really. The extended warranty company (a-holes all) denied my claim, due to not having my car's timing belt inspected at 60k miles. I fought them as hard as I could and even had the service department arguing my case, but ended up losing that battle. The car's total repair damages came out to $4700...the car itself is valued at $3800 (per Kelly Blue book), and that's if it was in working condition.

So, I was able to trade it in still, got a pretty nice rebate ($3000), and now have a brand new car (yay!)...I'm still feeling a little uneasy about a new car, since I only had TWO more car payments on the old one...so now I'm back in debt for another 5 years...oh well, at least my car is pretty runs!

While I was car less, I turned tricks rode the express bus to get to work (shout out to the 577 Express!). I have to admit, that I sort of liked it. In fact, I'm thinking about taking the bus once or twice a week to save adding mileage to my car (not to mention the rising cost of gas).

There were quite a few characters that I had the pleasure (?) of getting to know while taking public transport. I'll definitely miss the man with the bulge in his pants that looked like he was trying to smuggle a grapefruit out of town...and I'll only miss him cuz he always made me LOL..literally. I swear, I saw this guy on 3 separate occasions, and each time he was wearing dress slacks and looking professional, except for the enormous bulge in his slacks...damn show off!

I already miss the little Ranchero who wears this belt with a GIGANTIC silver buckle (it was the size & shape of a CD)...the buckle looks home made (or maybe his son or lezzy daughter made it in metal shop class). I tried taking a pic of him, while waiting at the bus station, but he (4 foot tall and 4 foot wide - and looking like he had the strength of a bull) almost caught me...so I put away my phone.

Oh, and I'll also miss the group of young adults that rode the bus with me a couple of times. They all had Down Syndrome, and they made me feel humble and embarrassed for bitching & moaning about stupid shit. My Grandmother used to say that when you see a person who's mentally retarded to not feel sad for them, because when they were born an angel kissed them a little too long and it left them in a constant state of bliss...I'm not so sure about that, but I do know that whenever I saw them, I thought about Grandma...and smiled.