Friday, June 27, 2008

Protection

For some odd reason, I couldn't sleep last night, so I spent some time during the wee hours surfing the 'Net for some vintage porn music videos. I sorta stumbled on the video for "Protection" by Massive Attack with Tracey Thorn (from Everything But the Girl) on vocals. Tracey Thorn has such an underrated voice and I don't think that U.S. radio stations ever did enough to promote her or EBTG.

Massive Attack is one of my all time favorite bands, and the pairing of Tracey Thorn on this song is a match made in music heaven. Listening to this song takes me back to the 90's....such a crazy time in my life...but the "good" kind of crazy (college, living on my own, tragic hair styles, and shaking my thang at the all night raves).

Last year my car got broken into (well, I sorta helped the thief out) and they took all of my Massive Attack & EBTG cds...those are the cds that I really miss the most....le sigh.

Here's the video for Protection:


Thursday, June 26, 2008

New Toy(s)

I found these "toys" while surfing the 'Net today. I really don't know what to say, except to ask who would actually pay money for these items?


Baby Jebus Butt Plug...cute, no?

Crucifix Dildo...disturbing, no?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Dream of Blogging

Last night I had a dream about blogging. In this dream, I was being yelled at by a man for flirting with his husband via his blog.

Something like this actually happened to me, except that I was never yelled at, but I did receive a strongly worded email from a blogger's partner. I was asked to stop leaving perverted comments on his man's blog....when I started to read the email, I initially thought it was a joke...it had to be. I went to the blog to re-read some of the comments that I had left over the past couple of months...I needed to see for myself what this guy was talking about.

Apparently, the angry hubby wasn't amused with some of the comments I left on some posts regarding the blogger's recent weight loss. I don't know about you, but I just don't see the perv in comments like: "Looking good there Slim", or "You're bringing sexy back", or even the completely innocent sounding"I would totally go down on your bone & not come up for air, until I drained you dry"....ok, the last one is a lie, but really are the other 2 perverted sounding? I don't think so.

Anyhoo, I ended up replying to the email in which I semi-apologized for causing any possible problems. I also sent my wishes that their relationship would continue to grow strong, despite the apparent insecurity/trust issues. I really expected a follow up email telling me where to go, but that was the last I heard from the partner. I continued to leave comments on the [now defunct] blog, but made damn sure that they were as innocent sounding as me....ha!

Part of the fun in blogging [for me] is joking around with other bloggers, being silly and yes, sometimes leaving outrageous comments. I mean, come on, life is way too short to take things so seriously (or blow things out of proportion).

Someone recently left me a comment (on his blog) that nearly made me pee my pants, and I'm sure HIS partner knows that it was just a joke. Here's the comment that made my Tiki get leaky: "Your taste buds serve you well young Christopher, now grab hold of my light saber while I fill you with the force".

I'm curious...have any other bloggers had similar experiences? And just for the record, please feel free to leave as many pervy comments on my blog as you want....they turn me on, and more importantly, my Boo doesn't mind...he's hung secure like that.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Summer Begins


Today is the first day of summer, and the temperatures in Southern California are really starting to heat up....it's supposed to be a real scorcher this weekend!

I was cleaning out my bedroom closet last night and I discovered 5 pair of shorts that I haven't worn yet. I had forgotten all about these shorts. I won them in an Ebay auction last year. The auction was actually for a single lot of brand new clothes (5 shorts and a jacket). I really only wanted the jacket, so the shorts were a bonus, really.

Anyhoo, I tried on the shorts last night......and damn my belly overhang, they were just a little too snug [read: the seams were splitting and the top button was being absorbed by the gut]. I'm thinking about taking up swimming this summer to lose some extra poundage. I'd love to have a swimmer's body, or at least to be able to squeeze myself into those shorts.

I have absolutely no plans for the weekend, and for once I am really looking forward to having a free weekend. Maybe I'll take in a movie [Indiana Jones or The Hulk]....now if only quitting time would get here.....let's get this weekend started already!

Stay cool everyone!
...

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Who Does it Better?




Mario Lopez recreated Marky Mark’s infamous 1992 Calvin Klein undies pose for the upcoming issue of People magazine.

Looks like Mario is smuggling some chorizo there...[hmmm: stuffed or natural?]....either way: Whoa !
...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Gimme 5

Fellow Long Beach blogger, Adriel, tagged me (and it felt good) to do this meme, so I'm gonna. Here's how the game's played:

1. Share 5 unknown Facts about yourself.
2. Pay it forward! Link 5 more bloggers and include their names in your post.
3. Leave them a comment on their blog and let them know that they’ve been tagged.

Here's my 5:

1. Not sure if I've blabbed about this yet, but I really want to be a contestant on the Amazing Race. I'd be a great contestant: I'm a natural born fighter/survivor and I am so damn sick of being in debt....all I'd need to get me through to the finish line would be the thought of winning the $1 million prize....oh, and I'm most excellent at backstabbing & conniving...these are crucial talents in this race.

2. This one's going to piss a lot of you off, but it's my truth so bite me: I don't think that Madonna's all that...that's right, I said it!...Yes, she's a great entertainer, entrepreneur, trend setter, etc,, but as far as her voice goes, there's so many more out there that whup her ass. Don't get me wrong, I like some of her music, but whenever I see people losing it over her, I don't know...I kinda want to get all primitive on their asses.

3. I love going on road trips but I hate driving. After driving for nearly 25 years (I started when I was 5), the thrill of it sorta wears off...that, and so many people in L.A. suck at driving.

4. I'm a night owl. I loathe the morning. The only time that I actually look forward to morning is at Christmas.

5. I [want to] believe in ghosts. I know a lot of people who claim that they've seen ghosts or experienced ghostly events, but I never have. My own brothers and sisters all believe that the house we grew up in was haunted, and each of them claim to have seen ghosts or floating orbs/shapes. I'm still on the fence as to whether I believe that ghosts exist (or not)....I wish Casper would come visit me.

For part 2, I'm going tag some people that are relatively new to me...Pikachu(s)...I choose you:

Mark , Kyle , DIT , Doghigh , Viktor

...

Monday, June 16, 2008

Say What?

I received a lovely comment from some random spambot on my last post...it's about damn time too.

I've seen the same "blogger" post similar comments on other people's blogs, and to be honest, I just wanted somebody to tell me that I have "good taste and an erotic foreskin flower", er, or something like that...here's the comment I'm referring to:

That beautiful photos… enchant to me… I must spend more times this way. Good taste and eroticism to skin flower.

So sweet, no?

Friday, June 13, 2008

TGIF...the 13th



I've never really believed that Friday the 13th was an unlucky day....in fact for me, it's usually been just the opposite. This morning proved that point perfectly. Before I drove in to work today, I stopped at my local convenience store to cash in a scratch off lottery ticket that I won $10 from...well, the ticket cost me $3, so it was a profit of $7 [woot !].


When I cashed it in I told the cashier that I wanted another scratch off ticket from the same "game"...he handed me another ticket and $7 change. When I got to work, the first thing I did was scratch my ass the card.....and I shit you not, but I won another $10 (...ok $7...) [Can I get a woot woot?!]

So, take that California! You just made me $14 richer this week...and on an "unlucky" day no less!

Wheeeeeeeee !!

...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Workplace Rant #534

I just got back from lunch (at La Barca Jalisco in Pico Rivera) with an ex-coworker. For real: the Camarones Al Mojo De Ajo (Shrimp in garlic sauce) was the best I've ever had.

Anyhoo....it was great to catch up with an old friend that I haven't seen in awhile. All that lunch time reminiscing got me missing my previous work group. They were such a fun, hardworking & diverse group. There was always a reason to throw together a last minute potluck with that lot, and I secretly blame them for my weight gain, but let's not hold any grudges.

My current work group couldn't be any more different than my old group. Now I have to put up with people who back stab, are gossipy, and brown nose. There are a few other habits that some of my current coworkers exhibit that have been working my nerves. For example (btw, all of the following have happened this week and almost every other week for that matter):

There's one lady that thinks it's ok to talk to you (loudly) with food in their mouth. A French fry almost landed on my lap one day when this beast got a little too excited.

Maybe I'm being too American with this next gripe, but I likes me personal space. Actually, I think 18 inches of air space between my lips and yours really isn't too much to ask for, right? I do NOT enjoy an unattractive female coworker standing so close to me (sitting in my chair) that she could easily dry hump my knee...back the f*ck up!

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.....When someone calls your phone and you hear nothing but dead air, why must you say "hello" over and over, and over, ad nauseum. Hang the phone up and guess what? they'll call back stupid! Two people in my group are guilty of this crime.

Lastly, there is a man in our group that likes to sneeze/cough/hack up the inner lining of his lungs, without covering his mouth. I swear he sneezed in my cubicle once, with his head turned to the side and yes, his mouth was uncovered...have you ever seen what a sneeze looks like with all of those tiny particles flying out at a million miles per hour? I have... and some of those particles even landed on my whiteboard. God Bless, indeed.

Am I being a whiny, bitter, little bitch who's still angry for not getting that job I interviewed for, who feels the need to vent via hate filled blog posts and run-on sentences....YES...but I'm owning it.

Maybe during my next job interview, when I get asked what's the reason you're looking to transfer, I'll just point them to this here post.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

True Dat

I utterly loathe those inspirational posters you see all across Corporate America...you know...the ones that promote "teamwork" or "integrity" or some other foolish notion. They're just too damn cheesy for me to stomach. So, to promote balance and equality in MY workplace, I create my own versions of truisms and pin them to my cubicle walls.

I was reading a post on Michael's blog yesterday, and ran across a really great line. It was just too good to forget, so I decided to plagiarize make a new "poster" and add it to my wall of wit.

Here's an example of my latest creation.



Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Flickr Meme


I found this meme over at Shirley Heezgay...the bitch [and I mean that with love] never tagged me, but I'ma do this F*ckr, oops, Flickr meme just the same.

The concept:
1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers.

The questions:
1. What is your first name? Christopher
2. What is your favorite food right now? Sashimi
3. What high school did you go to? Mayfair
4. What is your favorite color? Blue
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Brandon Routh
6. What is your favorite drink right now? Champagne
7. What is your dream vacation? Rome, Italy
8. What is your favorite dessert? Pineapple-Coconut Ice cream
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Millionaire
10. What do you love most in life? My Daughters
11. What is one word that describes you? sarcastic
12. What is your flickr name? xopher68

Try it...you'll like it!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Time to Exhale

I just got the news that I did not get the job I interviewed for last month...crap! Thanks for the well wishes y'all...they mean so much to me! Time to move on & look for the next opportunity that comes along.

40 Questions

I stole this meme from my buddy Mark, over at Planet Romach

I'm breaking the rules and answering with only one (fragmented) SENTENCE, as opposed to answering with only one WORD....I'm rebellious like that!

1) Where is your cell phone? Sitting on my desk.
2) Your significant other? Makes me feel like I'm Alive, Baby!
3) Your hair? is looking fierce!
4) Your skin? Could use a good moisturizer (read: a good licking from my boy toy)
5) Your father? Is my hero.
6) Your favourite thing? is my Playstation 3.
7) Your dream last night? Was about spending some relaxing time on a deserted island all by me-self.
8')Your favourite drink? is a Strongbow Cider (now available in the states at BevMo).
9) Your dream/goal? to finally become a homeowner.
10) The room you’re in? My personal Hell (work cubicle).
11) Your ex? ...Who?
12) Your fear? A cage...to stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire.
13) Where do you want to be in 6 years? In my newly purchased home, with a raised glass of Champagne in hand [won't you join me?].
14) Where were you last night? At home....wondering if I should call in sick today.
15) What you’re not? Not into mind games.
16) Muffins? Are best eaten in the dark, where no one can see your fat ass scarfing 'em down.
17) One of your wish list items? To get my body looking so hot that I turn myself on.
18) Where you grew up? Bellflower, California.
19) The last thing you did? Ate a muffin in the dark.
20) What are you wearing? Work clothes that I loathe.
21) Your TV? is a lovely piece of machinery.
22) Your pets? Do not exist.
23) Your computer? Is ancient & slower than a muthaf*cker.
24) Your life? Is in a state of change.
25) Your mood? had better improve soon, cos I'm sick of feeling down.
26) Missing someone? so much that it makes my heart ache.
27) Your car? Is shiny & new.
28')Something you’re not wearing? is a jockstrap.
29) Favourite store? Mexx, but they're pulling out of the US...dammit!
30) Your summer? is bound to be full of Love & Laughs (and booze).
31) Like someone? A whole bunch.
32) Your favourite colour? is Blue.
33) When is the last time you laughed? About 5 minutes ago.
34) Last time you cried? was Sunday morning, but they were good tears.
35) Who will/would re-post this? Paulie will.
36) Whose answers are you anxious to see? Everyone who plays along.
37) Most disliked vegetable? is any veggie that's been creamed.
38') A lovely Person? Jules is the epitome of Lovely.
39) Country I want to visit? is a toss up between Italy & Spain.
40) Lucky number? My lucky number is 3.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to play along.....wheeeeeeee!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Wicked Skin


Amy Winehouse's rock star lifestyle takes a toll on her ravaged skin. This photo was taken on Monday, as she was on her way to visit her husband in court, who faces charges of assault and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

Is that a cigarette burn on her cheek? Click the pic to get the full horror of her face. Whenever I see photos of Amy, I'm always reminded of Margaret Hamilton, who most people know as the Wicked Witch from The West.




Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lucky Fool


This past Saturday, my family celebrated my mother's birthday by taking her to her local hang out...Soboba Casino. I swear my mother is the Slot Machine Whisperer...she walks up to a machine, gets a vibe, and if it's good vibe will sit and turn $5 into $100 quicker than I can lose $20. My intention was to spend no more than $100...and I ended up coming home with $60 more than I walked in with...Woot!

I had so much fun and couldn't believe that 4 hours had passed so quickly. My brother had brought a small Buddha "statue' with him for good luck...so common that one. I made fun of him for bringing it, but when my luck started to turn against me, he told me to "talk dirty to the little fatty...he likes it and he'll reward you for doing so"....So I did. I rubbed his crotch (Buddha's not my brother's) and told him I'd toss his salad if he brought me luck. Buddha really must like a clean bung hole, because he immediately turned my luck around!

Over dinner, my Dad (who didn't go to the casino with us due to a migraine) asked how much my Mom had won. My brother said "Oh, at least $500"....to which Mom quickly spoke up with "I did not...more like $50"....and then, when Papa wasn't looking, she shot my brother the dirtiest look that said so many words...and some of the words were even in Spanish.

Now I'm itching to go to Vegas. The Wynn keeps sending me offers, but I'm holding out until they send me their $99 per night special (weekends included!!). It appears that the $200 I lost in their casino last year (?) has me pegged as a high roller...who knew?

ps: My apologies to any Buddhists that I may have offended.