Friday, August 21, 2009

Chew the Fat

I just got back from lunch, where I ate an AMAZINGLY delicious flat iron steak sandwich... from the workplace cafeteria no less. I really enjoyed that lean cut of beef, grilled to perfection, nuzzled between toasty sourdough bread, with just the right mix of tomatoes, cheese, and grilled onions (with a side fruit salad!)...and it only cost me $5.00... Woot!

But then things turned ugly... I was eating lunch with 4 coworkers in the caf, and really enjoying my sandwich, when I realized that I had just bitten into a huge ass piece of gristle. So, now I was faced with 2 questions:

1. How do I EAT this piece of fat without puking, or
2. How do I get rid of the fat without being noticed

Inside my head, I was freaking out....the gristle tasted so nasty & greasy. In one smooth move, I put napkin-to-mouth and casually spit the chunk into the napkin and hid it between my legs. When I pulled the bread back to inspect for more fat, I was disgusted to see more gristle just waiting for me to chow down on. So glad that I had enough smarts to check for more fat before finishing the samich. I really didn't want to repeat that experience.

It's funny, when I was a kid, I loved it whenever my Mom made pork chops....I loved it because, I would always ask family members for their pork chop's strip of fat. I ate it with such delight....Now, the thought literally makes me gag!

Bon Appetit!


Robert said...

So what did you end up doing with that fat piece of meat between your legs? :-)

jason said...


cb said...

My mom used to make "minute steaks" for dinner occasionally.

That ended when I bit into one and pulled back some intact veins. I nearly lost it.

We never had them again after that.

A Lewis said...

Precisely why I eat next to no meat at all....ick. I mean, why would I want to chew on an animal's gristle or fat or bone or tendon?? Um, no thanks!

In my younger days before I cared, my eyes would water and I'd start to gag while I found a napkin. But now? Just spit that bad boy out!

dit said...

Good save!

Michael Guy said...

I find shouting "OMG! Is that Anderson Cooper" enough of a distraction to allow time for gristle-into-napkin stealth maneuver.


How do we all feel about fried chicken skin, though? You know, the crispy, battered flaky goodness? Just saying...

Mark in DE said...

LOL @ Robert!

Christopher said...

Mmmmm....Fried chicken skin....Mmmm!!!