Friday, August 21, 2009

Chew the Fat

I just got back from lunch, where I ate an AMAZINGLY delicious flat iron steak sandwich... from the workplace cafeteria no less. I really enjoyed that lean cut of beef, grilled to perfection, nuzzled between toasty sourdough bread, with just the right mix of tomatoes, cheese, and grilled onions (with a side fruit salad!)...and it only cost me $5.00... Woot!

But then things turned ugly... I was eating lunch with 4 coworkers in the caf, and really enjoying my sandwich, when I realized that I had just bitten into a huge ass piece of gristle. So, now I was faced with 2 questions:

1. How do I EAT this piece of fat without puking, or
2. How do I get rid of the fat without being noticed

Inside my head, I was freaking out....the gristle tasted so nasty & greasy. In one smooth move, I put napkin-to-mouth and casually spit the chunk into the napkin and hid it between my legs. When I pulled the bread back to inspect for more fat, I was disgusted to see more gristle just waiting for me to chow down on. So glad that I had enough smarts to check for more fat before finishing the samich. I really didn't want to repeat that experience.

It's funny, when I was a kid, I loved it whenever my Mom made pork chops....I loved it because, I would always ask family members for their pork chop's strip of fat. I ate it with such delight....Now, the thought literally makes me gag!

Bon Appetit!

8 comments:

Robert said...

So what did you end up doing with that fat piece of meat between your legs? :-)

jason said...

smooth!

cb said...

My mom used to make "minute steaks" for dinner occasionally.

That ended when I bit into one and pulled back some intact veins. I nearly lost it.

We never had them again after that.

A Lewis said...

Precisely why I eat next to no meat at all....ick. I mean, why would I want to chew on an animal's gristle or fat or bone or tendon?? Um, no thanks!

In my younger days before I cared, my eyes would water and I'd start to gag while I found a napkin. But now? Just spit that bad boy out!

dit said...

Good save!

Michael Guy said...

I find shouting "OMG! Is that Anderson Cooper" enough of a distraction to allow time for gristle-into-napkin stealth maneuver.

Ish!

How do we all feel about fried chicken skin, though? You know, the crispy, battered flaky goodness? Just saying...

Mark in DE said...

LOL @ Robert!

Christopher said...

Mmmmm....Fried chicken skin....Mmmm!!!