Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How Many Licks to Make Me Pop?


For me, the best part of Halloween is having an excuse to dress in drag... er... I mean, all of the candy that finds its way to my desk. Someone at the workplace is a kindred spirit and has been providing me with daily handfuls of Root Beer Barrels. Mmm...I can suck on these little chubs all day long...and I do.

Many years ago, when my body was naturally smooth I Trick-R-Treated in my neighborhood, I would usually end up disappointed after dumping out my stash, only to find that I had amassed a bag full of Dum-Dums, licorice, melted & "reformed" chocolate (aka last year's chocolate), butterscotch, fruit (WTF?), pencils, and pennies... but the most hated candy was, and still is: Candy Corn....does anyone actually like this crap?

I was always lucky enough to find that one house that left a bowl full of candy, along with a note that asked that we only take ONE candy EACH... yeah...right, Suckas!!

Last Halloween, I made the mistake of buying way too much chocolate (the good stuff too), and hardly any kids showed up. The last family that came to my door had about 5 kids with them, and let me tell you, they scored... big time. As they walked away, one of the kids said to his parents "Let's come back to this house again next year".

Little do they know that I'm turning off all the lights early and watching TV in the dark... Suckas!

7 comments:

Meeko Fabulous said...

HEY! I happen to love candy corn. Don't look at me like I'm a weirdo . . . btw, I love all the innuendos . . . I giggled my whole way through! Wishing you an advanced Happy All Hallows Eve!

R Shing-Lai said...

I love candy corn, too! :-)

I'm going to go through your back door and pound on it 'til you scream! bwahahahah!

A Lewis said...

Umm, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, oh, maybe 3 licks.... but it may depend.

Kevin said...

We get about 500 kids every year. Srsly. No...SRSLY.

We're shutting out the lights, too. Besides, Halloween on a Saturday doesn't happen every year!

Michael Rivers said...

I love Halloween. I enjoy it more now than when I was a kid!

Michael Guy said...

Not answering the door this year? Me thinks NEXT year's costume will include an AK47 assault gun.

PS - I am no friend of Root Beer Barrels. ish...

Greg said...

We're fortunate enough to have locked gates to our mini-apartment complex. And no kids.

so the candy's all mine!!!