Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sounds of Morning

I hate the morning. I'm more of a Night Owl than an Early Bird. So, I wasn't too happy this morning when, at 5 A.M., I could queerly clearly hear the foghorns off of Long Beach's coastline warning the townsfolk of approaching pirates....or whatever the foghorns sound off for.

I was able to fall back to sleep after about 20 minutes of listening to what sounded like my phone ringing on vibrate. Then, just before the alarm went off at 6:30, I was treated to the sounds of 2 chickens noisily clucking away on my side lawn. Where did these chickens come from? Did my house transport itself to East L.A.??? One of my neighbors obviously has a chicken coop, as I saw the rooster just last summer, strutting around on my front lawn. He was gorgeous. All black feathers, with a huge fan-tail that was a rainbow of colors. Who knew there were gay roosters?

This morning's chickens made me think of my Uncle David who lives in Lancaster, CA. He is the most macho man I have ever met. He owns an orchard and a small farm, where he grows his own produce and sells his wares at local Farmer's Markets. As a kid, I used to be scared sh*tless of him. He always seemed larger than life to me and reminded me of a Latin version of Elvis. As I grew older, I got to know the real man... the man behind the booming voice & the dark glasses. He's actually a kind man, just don't piss him off. You'll be sorry.

Anyhoo, he raised a turkey from a chick. He named the turkey Sam and actually trained him. I never saw the bird, but my mom said that Sam was really my uncle's pet dog. When my uncle would whistle, Sam would come running, looking for a treat. He even acted like a guard dog, chasing away cats and the neighbor's dog.

Sam lived to almost 11 years old. My mom said that my uncle called her the day Sam died (a few years ago). He was so upset she could barely understand him. She asked him if he was going to eat him right away, or wait until Thanksgiving. My uncle didn't answer her...he just hung up the phone.


Michael Rivers said...

I am a total night person too! Mornings and I will never get along!!

R said...

You write the most hilarious posts Chris!! I hope your uncle didn't eat Sam... with gravy! JUST KIDDING!!

Michael Guy said...

Ooooh that is cold. EAT SAM?!
I hope not.

My mom has deer in her front yard. And they sometimes sleep on her covered patio. Just saying: some folks have roving chickens others have roaming deer.

Mark in DE said...

I think farm animals should be banned from residential neighborhoods, for just the reason you described. Farm animals belong on farms, hence the name 'farm animals'.