Tuesday, February 16, 2010

We Be Family

In the summer of 2003, my older sister got into an argument with my parents & brother that ended up badly. As a result of the argument, my sister decided that she "would be better off disconnecting herself from my parents & siblings". Without going into detail, the argument started off as a simple misunderstanding that blew up into a huge bring-up-ghosts-of-the-past type of argument.

Of course, innocent little me got pulled into the fight, and I actually was innocent in all of this mess. I was collateral damage.

It's very easy for me to cut people from my life, especially when they hurt me, my family, or my friends. I've been told that I have a "cold, lifeless heart". Maybe so.

So the last 7 years of not having my sister & her family in my life wasn't difficult for me at all. My parents, on the other hand, didn't feel quite the same. That message was delivered to me especially hard this past Christmas. My Mom said something at the dinner table regarding my sister and I said "who?"....and my mom repeated her name. I then said "yeah, I heard you....who"....my brothers laughed and made snide comments. The look on both of my parents faces felt like daggers in my heart. I felt like the biggest ass.

My Mom made a New Year's resolution to reach out to my sister and her family. A couple of weeks ago, she made good on that resolution and called my sister. Mom & Dad even had dinner with my sister and her family a few days after that phone call. From what I hear, they made quite the scene in the restaurant, screaming, crying, and embracing. I'm kinda grateful that I wasn't at the restaurant, because my cold, lifeless heart just might have generated a tear or two.

This past Saturday, we all got together at my sister's house to celebrate my Dad's & brother's birthdays, as well as celebrating our families reuniting. I was dreading that it was going to turn into another emotional mess. Thankfully, it didn't. It felt like 7 years hadn't passed at all. We laughed the night away and got caught up on where we've all been and what we've all done.

My parents both seemed happier than I've seen them in years...content and complete.

5 comments:

R. said...

Oh I'm so glad that about Chris!! 7 years can be a long, long time. This is wonderful. What a great way to start the year with your parents and your sister!! I have a brother who feels the same about my sister. They don't talk now.

At any rate, I'm very happy to have read your post! :-)

Michael Guy said...

Always a good thing when the past is forgiven. It's hard to do; I commend all parties involved in rising above personal grievances to bring family back together.

Great post, Chris!

RAD said...

wow---sounds like my fam...the old silent treatment that can last for years! I am glad it is all better now though as that is important and fam is important esp for our parents...

cb said...

Damn. What a shame. I mean, what a shame they reconciled. Because it's family drama that keeps things interesting...

Mark in DE said...

How nice that it all worked out and your family is back together again. Hopefully your cold, lifeless heart can find more opportunities to enjoy time with them.