A few weeks back, I took a hard look at myself and how I've been living over the last year. There's been a lot of destructive behaviors going on and a little bit of neglect & depression happening as well. I was also eating all the wrong things, avoiding the gym, drinking wine (or stronger) every night, and staying up way too late.
I only recently accepted the fact that beginning around last Fall, my life began to unravel. I was in a relationship that just wasn't working out, but my foolish pride got in the way, and I denied that there was anything wrong. It's a protection device. If no one knows that I'm hurting, then I'll be just fine. [Wrong].
There was also some drama in my immediately family happening around the same time period, which ended up straining and/or forever changing relationships. I became the master of keeping up appearances and wouldn't let even my closest friends know of how out of control I felt.
To get out of this funk, fix myself and all that I had let get out of control, I had to kick myself in the arse and make some (positive) changes. Over the last several weeks, these changes have affected my health (I've dropped 12 pounds), my family, and my career in such positive ways. I've reconnected with some friends that I've lost contact with, as well as, making several new friends. My family & I are closer than ever.
I've also severely cut down on alcohol consumption. I only drink on the weekends, and even then, I've limited myself to the amount and types of booze that I drink.
My love life is even showing signs of life again...That's a nice little bonus that I wasn't expecting at all (no, David, it's not who you're thinking of). I think it's curious how sometimes when you are on a mission to find someone to love, it can become the toughest search. Yet, when you're just living your life, not really seeking anyone out, the most wonderful things can happen and catch you off guard.
It's been a rough & tough several months, but really, it was a great education. I've learned that I have an amazing support system, a family that loves each other no matter what, and an inner strength that was sleeping for far too long.
Today, I can honestly say that I am happy. I'm living a life that's very much worth living. I feel renewed & in control of my life path. I'm holding my head up high, and I have to tell you, the sun feels so damn good shining on my face.