Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Eating Out

Just got back home from dinner at Stefano's daVinci Ristorante, at the Long Beach airport. This was a belated B-day gift from a good friend. I haven't had to pay for dinner since the 28th. Not too shabby for Chris! I had driven past this place a few times and had always wanted to check it out. I was under the impression that it was more of a sandwich shop, from the looks of the outside of the building. Boy, was I wrong. This place is amazing. It's on the 3rd floor of a commercial / office building, and has ceilings that soar at least 25 feet high. The bar is stunning, with a wine bar stacked on top. The wine "list" is more like a small textbook. One of the walls is entirely windows, which looks out onto the nearby airport. This is truly one of Long Beach's hidden treasures....This would be a great place to visit pre/post thinks a trip to NYC is long overdue. Now when is that damn income tax refund going to get here!

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Who Knew?

While visiting a loved one in the hospital today, I discovered something. The hospital is a pretty cruisy place. I know I was looking good. I had my Kenneth Cole shoes on, my Gianni Versace blue leather suit, my nails were done & my hair was fierce...but color me surprised as I walked down the hallways and noticed how the men all paused as I strutted on by......ok, I may be lying through my teeth embellishing the last few lines, but there were a couple of hospital employees that were definitely checking me out as I passed them, on my way to the cafeteria...and yes, my hair was fierce.

During a coffee break in the caf', I chatted up and sorta flirted with a certain Latino medical technician (fancy name for the guy that takes away your soiled night gown & dumps your bedpan) that was gorgeous! I wasn't sure if he was just being friendly, or if he was interested in changing my soiled nightgown. There was definitely some chemistry there. When I got up to leave, he said that he'd walk me we parted ways (literally), he handed me his phone # on a funky "business" card and told me to call him if I wanted to get together "to grab a cup of coffee sometime or whatever".

Tonight I'll be manscaping from head to toe for you know, whatever.

Sunday, January 28, 2007


My days of saying that "I'm in my late 30's" are fast diminishing. Funny, I don't feel much different now than I did say 10 years ago. Maybe a little more wise for the wear, but my energy level is still good, I've grown into my looks (me thinks), and my libido is at an all time high...wasn't that supposed to have peaked while in my teens?...not so for me. Not much to complain about. I've got my health, a loving family, a good job, and friends that I wouldn't trade my luggage for...

I recently saw pics of my high school's 20th reunion. Those mofos looked OLD!....It was unreal. So many fo the "jocks" & "homecoming queens" were fat, old, and tired looking ...many of the guys that thought they ruled the school back in the day were bald. When I look in the mirror, I don't see my age. I don't see what I saw in those pictures of old classmates...This makes me very happy...Happy Fuckin' Birthday to me indeed!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Will Blog for Attention

I spent a few hours in downtown Long Beach this afternoon, running errands and eventually meeting up with a friend for lunch in the Arts District. For real: Utopia restaurant is worth a visit, if you're ever in that neck of the woods.

Within the time I was in downtown, I was "hit on" by no less than 4 bums (or to be a little more P.C. : "homestead challenged")...and by "hit on", I'm of course talking 'bout them wanting some of my cash money. Whatever happened to "can you spare a dime brother?", they're all asking "hey buddy, can you spare a few bucks?"...I learned long ago that ignoring these folk just doesn't work. They've learned that the more they bug you, the more quickly you'll cave, just to get rid of them, and fork over some cash. I have learned that the best way to get rid of these lovely people is to look them in the eye and say, "No money is all for me!"...and then I usually run in the opposite direction.

On a similar note: Does anyone know how in the hell do the homeless people, that you see chilling at freeway offramps, all have black magic markers?....I don't even have one, and I've got a job!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

You Used to Spin Me

Pete Burns, the androgynous front man of Dead or Alive, is suing his plastic surgeon for an estimated £1 million over a botched attempt to remove lip implants. He claims that Dr Maurizio Viel performed a terrible job on his lip augmentation procedure at the London Center For Aesthetic Surgery. His lawyers issued High Court proceedings today alleging negligence. Burns claims side effects from the augmentation treatment included painful swelling, blisters, heavy discharge, and an inability to eat, drink or speak. The damage was so bad that doctors have warned him that his lips may need to be amputated. "What happened to me after a series of injections was far worse than any nightmare I could have envisioned. Not only was it agonisingly painful, but it was physically repulsive in the extreme. It was impossible to lead any life whatsoever. I was unable to leave my house as I was so distorted with swelling and I might begin to discharge yellow pus that was coming from the holes in my face", he said. Burns claims to have undergone more than 100 operations over 17 months in a bid to reconstruct his face. "At times, it leaves me seriously suicidal and depressed and I could have problems for the rest of my life," he said.

The pic on the left is circa 1985 & and pic on the right is of his current incarnation. Got Lips?
Hat Tip to Ireland On-Line for this story.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Martini Madness

You should never let your friends talk you into going out on a school night. Last night found me drinking one too many raspberry martinis at a local gayborhood bar, when I should've been home in bed with the bartender saying my prayers. Today, my head feels like a bass drum is slowly, dully, pounding away a steady beat. Why must I be a slave to this rhythm?

Since I'm a giver, I'll share one of my favorite martini recipes with ya'll. I call it a Fruitini Martini:
1 part Sour Apple Pucker
1 part Watermelon Pucker
1 part Peach Vodka

Pour all the booze into a shaker with ice, shake that ass, and strain into a martini glass...Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Artist Alert

While cruising the newest Manhunt profiles looking online for artwork, for my sugar bare walls, I came across this artist's website. Anthony Siciliano is Genius. I'm really lusting after some of his Giclee Prints / Mixed Media. I'm thinking the Coca-Cola inspired print would look great on a small kitchen wall that's currently blank. Now if only that Income Tax refund would get here!.....For real: Anthony Siciliano is one delicious slice of Italiano as well. In the words of Fergie: Check it out!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Pan's Labyrinth

I didn't know too much about this movie before going in to see it, but the trailer that I saw on TV, along with the great reviews it was getting, really piqued my interest. I was expecting that it was going to be pretty much a Narnia/Lord of the Rings fantasy movie....boy, was I wrong. This movie can best be described as part (dark) fairy tale / part civil war drama.

The movie is set in the postwar repression of Franco's Spain, in the 1940's. Pan's Labyrinth centers on Ofelia, a lonely child living with her mother and adoptive father, who is a military officer tasked with ridding the area of rebels. In her loneliness, Ofelia creates a magical world that's filled with fantastical creatures and a possible secret destiny. This is not a children's movie by any means.

The visuals and camera work are stunning! There wasn't one moment where I wasn't completely into the story. This movie is disturbing, violent, intense and haunting. I am sure this movie would never get made by an American studio. There are subtitles, as the actors speak totally in Spanish, but after 10 minutes you don't realize that you're reading...go see this movie.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Dine Me....Wine Me

I was treated to dinner on Saturday night by a generous friend. We went to the Napa Rose at Disney's Grand Californian Hotel. This hotel is amazing. From the minute you drive up to the front entrance, you feel like you've been transported to a mountain lodge in Northern California. "Grand" is an understatement here. After
cruising the men in strolling through the front lobby, we headed to the restaurant. The restaurant's circular bar dominates the view upon entering. I highly recommend checking this bar out for their "classic" drinks, which were all priced around $7 bucks...not bad considering the amount of drink/location (doesn't Disneyland charge like $10 for french fries?).

Dinner was incredible. After scarfing down the melange of bread (for real: the parmesan flat bread was so good I wanted to slap someone), the soups showed up (mmm...butternut squash) & then dinner arrived hot & steaming. I had the sea bass & friend had pork chops. Two thumbs up from our table.

The original plan was to eat dinner here, and then go see Dreamgirls at Downtown Disney's theaters....but we got caught up in all the food & the conversation was good & flowed just as smoothly as the wine did. After realizing we'd ran late, we decided to check out the hotel's bar.

As we sat by the fireplace in comfy leather chairs, we noticed that we weren't the only homos in the bar....there was one twink at the bar (about 10 feet from us) who was wiggling his booty at me...for real ya'll...friend dared me to go for it, but guys who have bodies similar to mine at age 11, really don't do much for me...there was even an Asian drag queen/trannie creature who was sharing a table with a lesbo & a about diversity!...

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Matchmaker

Normally, I wouldn't discuss my job or the workplace, here on this blog, but an odd thing happened yesterday afternoon. I've recently become fast friends with this woman in my department. She's a newlywed & very much in love with her husband. Our friendship is strictly on the up & up. We're basically shoulders for the other to cry upon (we've both been feeling remorse for transferring into this department, but that's another story).

Since we sit at opposite ends of our office. We often send each other instant messages, which are usually full of snarky comments about coworkers. So she sends me a message: "can I ask you something personal? don't have to answer if you feel uncomfortable. I'm just curious."

Oh oh. I'm thinking she's going to ask me if I like to cuddle men. Hmm...semi-worried about how to respond, if that's the big question. We have a pretty big group here, and I talk to almost everyone about my personal life, what I did over the weekend, etc...BUT with an edited mouth. I don't think it's any body's brizness what or who I did in WeHo last Saturday night. Then I start to think: so what? what would happen if I told her (or anyone else in the office) that I'm a big ol' Mo?.....

So she asks me the question: "are you single and looking?....if yes, I have a girl that would be great for you.....are you interested?" I respond (honestly): "yes I'm single, but no, not interested". So that ended that, and we went on to talk smack about one of the managers for looking a lot like Eeyore....

On the drive home, I thought about our "conversation" and kinda beat myself up for not telling her then that I was gay. That would have been the perfect opportunity to stop future blind date set ups....I've made up my mind this morning, that the next time we (or any of my fellow drones) talk about amore, I'm going to just tell her straight (har!) out that I likes the mens...If she's as cool as I think she is, then nothing much will change...unless, she's got a single brother who's looking for some loving.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The One & Only

This really surprised me that no one else (in the USA) has my name. Mama always did say I was special...shut up!
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

How do you say...

..."Sexy" in Kazakh?

Flushed Away (sometimes)

The toilet that I am lucky enough to own is one powerful bitch. It has a high powered flushing mechanism that is both a blessing and a curse(s). The blessing is that it uses much less water per flush, compared to everyday toilets.

The curse is that if you were very productive while sitting down, the violent turbo flush may not take away all of what you're offering Neptune as a sacrifice...It may require 2 or 3 (sometimes 4) flushes to remove all evidence that you were just there. In fact, it may reject it completely, and decide to fill the bowl up all the way up to the rim with stanky water, so that your "newborn children" can swim clockwise in this "pool".

If you're as lucky as I am, it may even reject it, fill the bowl up with water, and then send up a water spout, that soars high enough to escape the bowl and splash on my bare foot. I'm not really a fan of water sports here, especially when the color of the water is NOT clear.

I'm a renter. The landlady has been informed of this issue I'm having, and she was gracious enough to offer me some really useful suggestions on how to prevent this happening again, such as:

1. try not to poop so much at one time.
2. flush while you're pooping.
3. don't use so much paper.

I guess I should consider myself truly lucky, as this tempermental, regurgitating, toilet from hell has actually increased my plumbing knowledge. For example, it's taught me that those plungers you can buy at any market/home improvement store are useless. For real: ya'll need to invest in a toilet auger. I've gotten so much use out of that device, over the last 4 months. I am still waiting for the day that I can use the word "auger" in a sentence at the next cocktail party I attend....because you know what, I'm classy like that!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Eat Crow

What's with all them crows flocking near Whittier Narrows lately? It's been happening for the last week or two, usually around dusk. It is truly a sight to see....they perch on the the tall, leafless trees, and then as if they are of one mind, they take flight and form a virtual cyclone of crows. Flying high above the grassland below, they taunt the pigeons that usually reside in the area. Then after the aerial dance, they descend upon the nearby telephone lines and rest on these wires for a few blocks. Many people think the crow is an omen of bad luck or even death. I disagree with that. I find them beautiful, especially en masse, darkening the setting sun.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Duck, Duck, Goose

Over the weekend, I was finally able to watch Lifetime TV's latest reality show: Gay, Straight or Taken. The premise of the show (per Lifetime) is:

One woman meets three men for a series of dates and then must decide who is gay,
who is straight and who is taken. She has to select the one straight, single man in the trio in order to win a luxurious dream getaway for her and this available bachelor. If she makes the wrong call, the man she incorrectly chooses gets her prize instead.

The guys in this episode were: Christopher (Taken), Luciano (Gay), & Mike (Straight). I'm pretty sure that the producers had Christopher "gay it up" to try to fool the chick: Jenner (I shit you not, that's her name). When Jenner meets the guys for the 1st time, Christopher does this little finger wave and in a Queeny voice coos: "helloooooo"... and then when it's time for the group to hang out at the pool, he takes off his shorts to reveal a pair of trunks that are straight (har!) out of the UnderGear catalog. For real: his body is frickin smokin...yes, he's a wreck up from the neck up, but child, those legs, upper bod, arms, did I mention the thighs that could crack walnuts?, oh, and the plump package!....I was all hot-and-bothered watching him on screen!

My friend plays basketball in a league with Luciano, and I've met him/seen him at work (at the Abbey in WeHo). He's such a nice guy & damn sexy ya'll. I heard through the gay grapevine, that the guy they portrayed as his BF was a friend that was paid to play his BF, as Luciano is very single.

As for Mike, it was pretty clear that he was straight (and oh-so-my-type, 'mkay?) but the question was whether he'd do gay-for-pay porn he was taken or single.

Well, Jenner got them all wrong & didn't win shit...poor for my overall opinion?...I dunno, I don't think the show's going to last very long. Other than serving up some very nice eye candy, there wasn't much substance to keep my attention.

In the words of Blaine Edwards & Antoine Merryweather: "Hated it!"

Below pic (left to right): Luciano, Mike, & Christopher

Friday, January 12, 2007

Things that are pissing me off Today

1. My weight - I've been good all week (food consumption wise), worked out every other day this week, and only lost 1 lb.....WTF!!! I have to turn to Crystal Meth to see some results?

2. My hair - I need to call up my Hairdresser on Fire today to set up an appointment. The "'do" is not looking too good.

3. My job - Things are so slow right now that I'm clock watching all day (oh, and cruising porn sites reading Blogs).

4. The shirt I'm currently wearing - got a new Hugo Boss shirt (no, I'm not really a Label Whore, just trying to emphasize that it's not a ratty old shirt from the Gap) for Xmas and decided to wear it for the 1st time today. Well, wouldnt you know it, I spilt tomatillo sauce on my chest, at lunch today.

Thank God it's Margarita night...wheee!!

Tuesday, January 9, 2007


iPhone blows away expectations by ZDNet's Ed Burnette -- Once in a while, the truth can be wilder than the rumors. Such was the case today at MacWorld 2007, where Steve Jobs unveiled the long awaited iPhone.

Tilt and Freak...Tilt, Tilt & Freak

Monday, January 8, 2007

Weekend Recap

Friday - - I headed over to the Wine Crush with a friend, for their weekly wine tasting event. If you're ever in the LBC and want to get your wine on, I highly recommend giving these folks a try. They have a great selection of wine, & are extremely knowledgeable. My only qualm with the wine tasting is the hefty $15 fee for the tasting. Yes, you get to try 6 glasses of whatever wine they're trying to clear stock of, er, promote that week, but I still think this is a bit high. The place was packed and there was an unusual amount of single ladies there, all clucking & cackling away (I mean that in the most non-misogynistic way). We were on glass #2 when we noticed a table at the far end of the room that had veggies, dip, salsa, and 2 slices of quiche....we obviously showed up about an hour too late, as the dips were starting to develop a skin and the veggies were looking a little limp. But the 2 of us are such manbeasts, that we decided to go for it ...and that's when this Kylie Minogue wanna-be steps up to me, as I'm dining on the scraps, and asks if I'm enjoying myself. I thought to myself, oh honey, you are so barking up the wrong tree. So I politely respond that I am, thanks, blah, blah, go away....then she asks us how do we know Sherry?...I say, "who?".....then she transforms into an actress and does her best Tina Fey impersonation by saying: "Oooh....uh, ....ummm....awkward"...we quickly realize that this pitiful assemblance of food was for a private party, for one of the chicken-heads in the crowd...My friend starts to apologize profusely. I become offended. How dare she confront us for actually doing her a favor, by clearing away the decomposing slop. I ask her if she wants, I can put my food back. I tell her that I've only taken one bite out of the quiche, and if she were to slice the side of it just so, no one could tell that I've molested it. She doesn't find me amusing. She glares at me & says that it's fine, she was just curious. What. Ever.

After loading up on 6 glasses of Pinot, (on virtually empty stomachs), we stumbled down the street to my favorite Italian restaurant on the west coast, La Parolaccia Osteria The food here is so good & the atmosphere is casual & welcoming...all the things an Italian restaurant should be. I highly recommend EVERYTHING on their menu. For Real: The veal is a personal favorite and it just melts in your mouth. I was pretty wasted from work, wine, that pasty bitch, (again, I mean that in the most loving and non-misogynistic way) and dinner, so I decided to end the evening a little earlier than usual and sleep it all away.

Saturday - - Left the mind-numbing, bleak oppression beauty of Long Beach behind and ventured out to WeHo. Dinner with a friend at Marix. I think I've found my new favorite Margarita here. Unbelievably good! After dinner (I had the Shrimp Diablo -- yum!), we stopped at The Abbey, to have the privilege of being ripped off, by paying $12 for a Raspberry Martini, (that was so damn tasty, that it made me forget about the price). The Abbey is my hands down (and sometimes pants down, but let's not talk about restroom behavior) favorite place in WeHo to watch the Beautiful Ones, while sipping on a martini. Had a blast there. Chatted up a few hotties and laughed my ass off. (Thanks for the chuckles Yarko...a Norwegian, student). Stopped by "Trunks" for the 1st and last time in my life. This place answers that nagging question of: "where do the gay-and-over-70 set hang out in WeHo?" ...Lastly, stopped in at the East/West Lounge for a night cap. The place looks great and has a nice NYC vibe. We spotted porn star Matthew Rush here. He is Huge! Muscles on top of muscles.

Sunday -- Ran errands, hit the gym, answered emails, blah, blah. Then I spent a good chunk of the day taking down the Christmas tree and remaining holiday trim. This is my least favorite thing to do post-Xmas. Not because of the chore of it, but because I miss all of the Xmas bling. Pretty good 1st weekend of 2007. May there be many many more.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Looking Forward

Well, 2006 was a pretty good year for this fool. I moved into a bigger house (in a better 'hood), got a better paying job, and traveled quite a bit (NYC, Chicago, Vegas, and Catalina Island). This past weekend, I began deconstructing Christmas (decor) at home. The tree is still up & won't come down until the ornaments remove themselves, with the help of the ever-dry boughs that droop a little lower each day. I live for the Holiday season & it just bums me out when it's all over. Tossing the tree is best done with me saturated in a cloud of red wine. Last year, the tree stayed green & in house up until Valentines Day.

The only SERIOUS resolution I've made for 2007 is to finally get this body into f*ckable shape. I am so tired of wearing my pants with the button undone, hidden behind my belt. That means no more fast food (ugh!) & actually spending time inside of the gym...

Oh yeah, one more resolution: to get laid more often.