Friday, September 28, 2007

I Love Paul

Heard this song today and it brought back a flood of good memories...enjoy Bitches

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Wow, I've been away from my blog for far too long...I'm so behind on my blog reading too. I arrived in South Dakota, Monday evening, for a work-related training session/conference with 8 coworkers...let me break down the trip thus far:

The Rant:

I can't stand my coworkers. It seems that many of them haven't traveled much, or at least stayed in a hotel....ever. Their behavior is unreal. Yes, I have 7 days worth of bath towels already stashed in my suitcase (hey, that's what housekeeping gets for leaving their carts unattended), but I'm not going to brag about it over front of our supervisor. Then there's the constant need for us all to dine together (breakfast/lunch/dinner)...all f*ckin week. I'm running out of excuses for not eating with them, so it's come down to me saying this to the group: "Lookit...I hate all of you. I'm so dammn embarrassed by each & every one of you, that I'm no longer putting myself through that stop asking me to hang out with you!"

I'm usually not anti-social, but when you have to endure rude manners at decent restaurants & hearing the same "funny" stories constantly being retold, you quickly tire of these people. It's like hanging out with a bunch of 9 year-olds, who keep bringing up stupid crap like: "remember when Chris stood up too fast in the airplane & bumped his head?...that was hilarious....that's soooo classic"....yeah, it was funny when it happened (I guess) , but hearing about it again on the 3rd day, makes me want to punch the storyteller in the neck!

I was especially irritated with a few of them last night, because, while I was attempting a 3-way phone sex conversation with Paul & Eliot, they kept stopping by my room, trying to get me to go bar hopping with them to "get totally wasted"...of course I turned them down....oh...I'm just kidding about the 3-way sex thing...those 2 guys are frigid classy Betches!

The Rave:

South Dakota is beautiful. The air is clean, the sky's blue, and the land is green. Housing doesn't seem out of control. The people here are very friendly... strangers look you in the eye, smile & say hello....not so sure that they'd be as friendly with me if they knew that I like the mens. I was talking to the hotel's bartender, and she told me that her gay brother moved to San Diego, to get away from all of the homophobes here.

Speaking of the mens....the local boys are big & beefy....mmm...mmm.... I haven't spotted any obvious queer folk yet, but I'm sure that they're just on the DL.

Two more days & I'll be heading home...yipee!.....I finally have some time to myself tonight, so I thought I'd post something & get caught up on some of my fave blogs.....did you miss me??

Friday, September 21, 2007


Happy Birthday Stephen King, and thanks for the many sleepless nights !

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Something Ends / Something Begins

The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air...

Well, the weather here in the LBC has changed at least....praise Jebus, it's about time!...I was so tired of sitting around my non air-conditioned house, balls sticking to the sides of my legs, cursing the, I'm wearing a cock ring sweater for the 1st time since February. It even got cold enough last night that I had to shut my bedroom window & I actually used all of the blankets on the bed. If you're ever drunk fortunate enough to find yourself in my bed, you'll quickly learn that I only sleep with a sheet over me....well, unless there's some physical activity going on....ahem!

As I was driving through downtown Long Beach this morning I noticed quite a few people on the streets decked out in wool coats, hats & gloves....many were looking like they just stepped out of a Banana Republic store wearing their new purchases....FYI, J'adore the Banana....even though it's basically The Gap + a hefty markup. Fall is my favorite time of the year and I think that's mainly due to the fact that I have better Fall clothes than any other season (read: it's easier to hide the flab under a sweater/coat than it is under a T-shirt).

There's that reason, as well as Fall being the start of the Holiday season, which usually means lots of yummy food, and isn't that what the holidays are all about anyway?...I love being a homebody on cold autumnal nights, sitting in front of the wall heater with a hot cup of apple cider or homemade baked goodies (pumpkin/apple pies, baked apples, bread pudding, etc).

Oh, then there's the start of the new season of TV shows like Heroes & Project Runway...yeah, I'm gay like that....but y'all knew that already!

So, come on Father Time...let's wind this year down with some brisk days & chilly nights...cuz they make my nipples all perky & shit!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

One More Try

Murderer ~ Kidnapper ~ Burglar

Let's see if Justice is served this time!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Gone But Not Forgotten...Sorta

Mama called last night for her weekly check-in (to see if I'm still alive)...she also called to cry on the phone with me over her new hairdo. She went to Fantastic Sam's & according to her, ended up with a "dyke haircut". Poor Mama...I keep telling her that she needs to treat herself & spend a little money on a proper hairdresser. To make matters worse, my Dad & her got into a little argument and Pops called her Billy Jean King.

I asked Mom about my uncle who's been having some marital problems lately. When I asked: "so how's Uncle Manny doing?"...she replied with: "What??!!...are you kidding me?"....Oh-oh...I knew I was in trouble here...

I figured that she must've recently updated me on him, and I either forgot or just wasn't really listening...Also, my Mom has a bad habit of retelling stories that I just heard the other day....she does this quite often.

As soon as the conversation starts with: "Have you got a minute...I have to tell you about your uncle?", I'll set my phone to speaker mode, go bake an apple pie, and just interject every few minutes with an "uh-huh" or "oh really"....once Mama starts talking, there's no stopping her...even when you say : "Oh dear God, not this story told me this two nights ago...this is a long ass one".....nope...she never hears that.

Here's how the remainder of the conversation played out:

Mom: "are you seriously asking me how my brother Manny is doing?"
Me: "yes....why, what's wrong?"
Mom: "your Uncle Manny is dead. He has been dead for 5 years. You were a pall bearer at his funeral."
Me: "Ooops....I meant Uncle Richard"
Mom: "He's fine...I have to you, bye...[disgusted sigh]"


Monday, September 17, 2007

I Heart Paella

My friend is a wine club member of this local wine tasting bar. On Saturday, they were tasting Spanish wine & offering all-you-can-eat paella for dinner (for wine club members only). Well, I sorta made up that all-you-can-eat paella rule on my own...I did have 3 servings and that was pretty much all I could eat (read: they ran out after my third serving). I have to admit that I'm slightly embarrassed over my behavior. The way I swooped in like a starved/caged beast, just released for his 1st meal after a very, very long time... it was just so unbecoming of me. I mean, really, the 'chef' nearly lost a thumb, as I greedily spooned up the food, barely giving him a chance to set the platter down...and yes, I may have been a little greedy with the scrimp shrimp/scallops/chicken...I left the mussels alone though...have you ever looked at a mussel?...I mean really looked at one?... it looks sorta like a vag _ _ _ ...don't it?... and this homo don't play that...anymore...but I digress...

I blame my lack of decorum on the lack of carbs from my diet...I saw all of that cheesy rice & thought: I CAN HAZ RICE !'s been a mighty long time since I've had rice y'all.

After all of that wine & excellent food, we saw 3:10 to Yuma. I had some reservations about seeing this movie, as I'm not really into Westerns, but I have to admit, that I really liked the movie. The ending did have some parts that were a little hard to swallow, but whatevah.

To cap the night off, we decided to get our drink on at Ripples. I fell in love there with a man that was simply beautiful: fair skin, jet black hair, eyes as dark as my soul, and a body that I soon won't forget. He could've easily bench pressed me....with one hand. It's always funny to me how some of the hottest guys get no attention from any other guys....all night long. If I wasn't with my friend (who's madly in love with me....ha!), I would've said something to him (such as: please....just look at me once, like you're into me...and like you want it...cuz it's yours to have...all night long)....or maybe "hello" would've been a little more appropriate....[sigh]...

Sunday morning, I hit the gym and boy was I surprised to see that I gained 2 whole f*ckin pounds since last week's weigh-in....I guess it didn't help that I recently ate quite a bit of rice, "buttered" popcorn, drank a lot of booze, and did I mention that I also had a piece of chocolate birthday cake at the wine was one of the owner's bday & I was forced, at gunpoint, to eat some cake (and lick the buttercream frosting off of my plastic plate)....Diet be damned!...but it was soooo worth it...I think.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Road Rageous

School is definitely back in session, as evidenced by the ridiculous amount of traffic I have to endure every morning. Last night's "drive" home was took me nearly 2 fricken hours to get home (mi casa is 30 miles from work)...well, ok, there were 2 accidents & 2 stalled cars on the freeway, but most nights (lately) have also been a long ride home....

I've tried switching routes, listening to traffic reports on the radio (which are always stale) before heading out, and checking out the sigalerts online....and that's really no help.

I strolled into work today, 1/2 an hour late & pissed off. I can't continue this BS commute much sanity is at stake. I thought that screaming like a nelly queen yelling at the top of my lungs would help relieve some of the rage I was feeling, but nope....still angry here!

I HATE the freeway culture of L.A......Methinks I need to say screw this town & screw owning a car, and then head somewhere a little further north (SF)....or maybe make the move I really want to & say hello to the Big Apple...if only it were that easy!

Sorry for the crappy vent post, but it was either this or me running a Geo Metro off the side of the road.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

6 Years

...The day that time stood still...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Going to B.F.E.

In a couple of weeks, I'll be heading to the beautiful city of Rapid City, South Dakota...for a week-long work conference/training event/waste of my time...South Dakota??....Shoot Me Now!!

My ungrateful, bitter ass will be sitting in training classes Tues thru Friday from 8 - 4 pm, along with some coworkers & people in my industry from all across the U.S. ...I went thru this training last year, but this year, I've been placed in the intermediate level....[woo-hoo]...last year's training wasn't so bad, as the host city was Long Beach, which meant sleeping in late, many "happy hours" after classes, and a 5 minute drive home.

I've been looking into local men things to do, places to visit, bars to get sloshed in, and Daddy isn't having much luck. I'm picturing holing (sp?) myself up in my hotel room nightly & ordering room service...hmm...on second thought, that doesn't sound so bad after all!

I will be checking out Mt. Rushmore on Monday (we're flying in a day early to acclimate ourselves to the hick environment), but after that, what's left?

Now, I know that there are homos in Rapid City, but where do they hang out? Methinks, I'm going to really have to turn up the Gaydar sensors to "Max"...I'll make it my mission to seek out & find my fellow homos. Maybe I can even have my own Brokeback Mountain experience, but in a hotel room...and with lube....not into the dry screwing so much...too much info?

If y'all have any ideas/suggestions PLEASE share!

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Calling My Name

I'm not sure of the reason, but these little black & white beauties have been calling me (all day long) to eat them.... [All. Day. Long] ... Luckily, there aren't any at home...

...but I thought about really screwing the diet and making a run to my local market to get me some...I even started to rationalize purchasing them...I told myself that if I walked to the market (a few blocks away), I'd be burning off enough calories to eat a few and not have to worry about the calories/carbs/fat content...but eating Oreos is like eating can't just eat a have to eat the entire goddammn bag!

The real kick in the pants came when my neighbor brought over some of my mail that had got sent to his place...and I couldn't believe it, but he was actually drinking an Oreo milkshake from Jack-n-the-Crack...

Then things got really ugly & I actually committed a sin...I coveted my neighbor...and that's not really cool, cuz he's like really old & wrinkled.

So in the end, I tuned out the siren's call & satisfied my sweet tooth craving by eating 1/2 of a cantalope ...mmm... so delish! I tried to comfort/motivate myself by agreeing that when I finally meet my weight loss goal, I'll buy me some Oreos (and some milk) and eat the entire bag. I may have to commit the following day purging myself silly to doing nothing but cardio, but it'll soooo be worth it!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Staying Put...For Now

I've been playing detective here at the old J-O-B...I was looking into the department that I was still semi-interested in (as of this morning)....just curious as to how many employees there are, confirmation that the she-devil would be my boss, etc...

I checked out the online organizational charts, to see if I knew anyone in the luck...There are a total of 4 program managers in that department and yes, Super-B*tch is the direct supervisor...dammn!

Ok, so it looks like either someone in the group is leaving, or the workload has increased enough to require another manager be brought on...I'm hoping for the latter.

Next, I opened up all of the current manager's online calendars (on our email system)....I was basically looking for the number of scheduled meetings, any info on "to do" lists, anything that'd give me a sense of the workload and/or travel involved, as this position did require some local travel to contractor sites.

I found out from employee #4's calendar that he had an interview for a job around the end of July...then, I checked the "Awarded Jobs" section, on the job listing website ....looks like he got the job...AND, the thing that made me say: "hmmmm" was that I noticed that the new job he's taken is a step down from his management position.....veddy interesting.

Luck was shining down on my shiny face today, as I also discovered that this guy now works in a department where I know (and am on friendly terms with) pretty much the entire department...time for me to walk through there & pay a visit to my after lunch, I dropped in and chit-chatted with some of my peeps (do I need to explain that word to anyone?....ha!)

This department is very team-building friendly, meaning when you sit at your desk here, you can see all of your neighbors....very short walls on the cubicles. So where is the new face?...I was hoping that I'd get introduced to him & then start my coy little investigation...after about 15 minutes, I'm about to leave when I see someone new walk in from outside & take a seat at one of the desks...(yes!!!!)...

My friend, Dolph, (not his real name, but he looks a LOT like Dolph Lundgren.....slurp!) says: "hey, we got a new sucker, I mean employee in our group".....chuckle chuckle, introductions are made....I play dumb & start asking questions like: "where are you transferring in from?"...."oh really?...I'm actually thinking about applying for your old position"...etc, etc.....he's very PC & says that the job is "interesting, fast paced, and never boring"....when I told him that I used to work with his old boss, he only said: "oh, good....then you'll have the upper hand".

I $hit you not....when I got back to my desk (after going poop), there was an email from him...singing a different tune....apparently, he didn't want to talk badly about his last position earlier, as he didn't want to send out the wrong message to his new group. I knew he was holding back!

Basically the email said that since I already know K _ _ _ , I "already know how she is"....and apparently not much has changed...he also told me that he was so desperate to leave that group that he actually took a step down (sneaky me already knew that)...also, there's a lot of politics/back stabbing going on in that department, and the job itself is basically an "invoice chaser" position, which has more to do with accounting then it does with program management.

Hmm...I think I'm going to go with the gut here, and NOT apply.

Thanks for the input Y'all !!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Needful Thing

By year-end, I either want to look like this (yeah right!), or get to have me some of that's what I call a "Toight Little Body".....Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

I've got a bit of a conundrum here....there's a job that just went up on our corporate job listing website that I'm seriously considering applying for. I have to make a decision very soon, as the deadline for submitting my resume is this Friday. It's a program management position, which I'm qualified for, it would be a lateral career move, but I'd ask for an increase in pay anyway (looking for 8-10% more), and it's closer to home (10 miles closer). The ONLY problem I can see with this job is the hiring manager.

I used to work with her back in 2002 (we were both junior analysts). We were in the same department, but had completely different responsibilities. She came in from the customer call support center and really had minimal PC skills....she often asked for help with Excel spreadsheets, and I was cool with helping the dummy out. Now, this girl may have had minimal computer skills, but she did have a silver tongue. She could talk her way out of any sticky situation.

I found out that she was also quick to lay the blame on me for mistakes that she made on her reports. Apparently, If I helped her locate data sources for any analysis she was working on, then she & I BOTH worked on the assignment....she had no problem with throwing my name out as a co-f*ckup....but what she found out is homo don't play that...our working friendship quickly changed the first time I cut her off mid-speech during a staff meeting:

Her: "I don't know why the numbers on this report don't match what's on the general ledger, Chris & I worked on this together and..."
Me: "Hold up....I did NOT work on this with you....I only showed you where the data was stored on the network....this report is all on you".
We worked together in that department for about 2 years, and in the early part of that time period, you could just smell the hatred we had for each other...but things improved over time & we actually got along towards the end of the 2nd year...

We both transferred out of that department and haven't seen or spoken to each other since 2004.....that is, until this past July....she was attending a meeting here at the Corp offices, and we ran into each other in the cafeteria. We chatted for a bit & basically lied through our teeth: "it's great to see you".... "if I knew you worked in this office, I would have set up a lunch date" ....blah, blah, blah...Yeah, we're both BS'ers...

So now, I'm still considering applying for this job, despite knowing what her character is (was?) like....I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt here & assuming that she's had time to grow up...but I dunno...I just can't get my arse off the fence yet...something's holding me back from hitting the "submit" button...homo intuition?

The truth of the matter is this: I'm so desperate to get the hell out of my current position that I'm starting to go against my better judgement...[sigh...]

What say You, Peanut Gallery?

Monday, September 3, 2007

A Kiwi Popped My Cherry

I finally got the chance to meet a fellow blogger....and what a fellow!

Franck, of Planet Franck fame, was in L.A. for one night only, this past Sunday, and he chose ME to be his husband only visitor...jealous much?...I'd be...

So yeah, Franck was the first blogger I've actually met...well technically, I've seen this guy in the flesh, and he saw me, but we weren't sure if we were...we(?) were both at the gym, and I was dying on the treadmill, while Greg was checking out some hottie's ass standing in line waiting for my tired ass to get finished...but I digress.

Anyhoo... it was fantastic getting to meet the man that makes me smile, times, makes me tingle (.....down there...)

First impression(s): I wasn't expecting him to be so tall (6'2"), but that's a good surprise...his accent is killer...also, what a great sense of style this man has...his closet wouldn't be safe around me.

We went to dinner at O-Bar, (yummy), and then ended up at The Abbey for Martinis, Cosmos, and a couple (few?) Malibu & Cokes...I had so much fun & I only wish that Franck had a little more time to spend in L.A., as I would've loved to have given him a proper tour of the city...but I'm very grateful for the time we did have together.

I have to confess, I was so nervous about meeting Franck...It's easy to be "me" online, but I always fear that I'll come off as quite the dud, face-to-face. I don't think that was the case this time (Franck, correct me if I'm delusional), as the conversation flowed quite easily, and we had each other laughing all night long...also, it's so funny how alike we think....must be the gay gene.

It was great seeing you Franck...I miss you already!

...Franck striking a pose at The Abbey...