Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Shear Let Down

So tonight was the season finale for Shear Genius....and Anthony (pictured above) won...yay!...I was hoping that the top 2 would've been Anthony & that other Brit, Tabatha....that Betch has got mad skills, yo...but she got bumped off, as a result of being teamed up with a little troll, who screwed up & took Tabby down with him, but I digress.

I dunno...tonight's show just left me feeling unimpressed. The top 3 stylists had to wow the judges, using 3 models each. There were really only 2 rules: one hairstyle must be in a "bob" & at least one of the models had to have her hair colored...otherwise, they were pretty much free to do whatever they wanted. I ain't going to go into detail with what each stylist did, but I will say that I was surprised that they all ended up doing boring, safe looks....nothing edgy, nothing new, nothing borrowed, nothing blue...wait, where was I going with this?

Anyhoo, Vidal Sassoon was a guest judge tonight (he's looking good for 102)...and he must be on some damn good mood elevators, as he just seemed to love everyone & every haircut that walked down the runway...ok Vidal....we get it that you're famous for the Nancy Kwan "bob" hairdo...get over yourself already!....(p.s., who the hell is Nancy Kwan?)

Overall, I liked this Bravo reality show, and I'll miss it....but most of all, I think I'll be missing my weekly dose of Rene Fris....isn't he loverly?...and no wise cracks about his caterpillar eyebrows, bitches!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Sunny Delight!

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young (true dat), healthy (umm,ok), new (yup), fresh (better believe it). The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Monday, May 28, 2007

(Re)Motivated Me

So, after a weekend of seeing hot men walking shirtless around my 'hood, I've decided that I want to be one of those guys. Well, not the straight ones...I started a diet/exercise program today, with a goal of losing the extra 15-20 pounds I've put on over the last couple of years...yes yes y'all...I'm a chubby boy.

I have no idea what my weight currently is (weigh-in is tomorrow morning), but I'm guessing it's around 180. My ideal weight is 160, and that's what I've designated as my fuckable goal weight.

I was under the false notion that I carried my weight well...that is, until I caught my reflection in a store front's windows see, it was windy in the LBC and when I glanced in those damn windows of truth, I saw my t-shirt being blown in the wrong looked like I was smuggling a 20-lb turkey under it. My mirrors at home all lie to me....they say: you don't look that fat, you look 'sturdy'...the buttons on your shirt aren't screaming that much, really...[sigh.]

The Get-Your-Ass-in-Shape-for-Fall plan is pretty simple. I'm basically changing old habits. No more eating after 8:00 p.m., lowering my intake of carbs, fat, and processed foods, eating more fruits & veggies, and visiting my gym on the regular. I have a pending NYC trip in October, and if I'm gonna be strutting down 5th Ave, I need to build up my stamina for all of the power bottoms I'll be screwing shopping I'll be doing.

Today (Monday) was Day 1 and I did pretty well...I ate sensibly all day, drank lots of water, and speed walked around the neighborhood for about an hour (prepping for the treadmill/PreCor machines).

So the real horror of this all takes place in the morning, when I get on the scale...I swear, the first number had better start with a "1"...Commitment is a scary thing...wish me luck!

Happy Memorial Day !

Today kicks off the 'Flips & Shorts' season, or if you're Latino, that's the 'Chanclas y Chorts' season...Funny thing is, if you live in Southern California, Flips & Shorts are pretty much worn year 'round.

Flips sure have come a long way...when I was a kid, flip-flops meant those flimsy, rubbery things, that you bought at the supermarket for 79 cents...those cheap things only lasted a few weeks with me.

Today, I have a few pair of flips for different occasions...a leather Kenneth Cole pair (more of a "slide" than a flip) that I'd wear with khakis or jeans to a casual dinner....then there's the pair that you see in the pic above. These are my O'Neils....super comfy, worn everywhere from the market to the movies (and super cheap @ $12.00)....lastly, I have an ancient pair of Nike's, that I wear to the gym (to prevent getting athlete's foot).

I hear that Macy's is currently having a sale on a few pair that have caught my eye....I may need to add to my collection.

Have a nice Memorial Day, y'all...'tis a shame that the true reason for this holiday is lost amongst the 3-day weekend sales events or the BBQ's at the beach (been guilty of this myself)...I'm taking a moment to remember all of those who've fallen, while serving & protecting our country....won't you join me?

Friday, May 25, 2007


If my calculations are correct, I've slept with just over 100 men this is my 100th post.

I started this blog during a time in my life where my creative juices were flowing (Christmas/New Years), but I was frustrated at not having a venue to release my man juice this energy. By this time, I had been reading a few blogs on a regular basis, for about a year. So, the solution was simple: Blog Boy, Blog!....cue the music: What You Waiting For?

When I started this blog, my goal was to post something everyday....even if it was a crotch shot of some random guy from my gym. But, daily posting just didn't happen and won't happen (my weekends are usually crazy busy, yo). There are days when I have absolutely nothing to post about, and that shit drives me crazy. There are also times, when I'm far away from a computer and something interesting happens, and I think: this is posting gold..I have to remember to write about this later. Blogging (for me at least) can be quite addictive....don't even get me started on counting comments/readers!

There have been a couple of bloggers who've influenced/inspired me to blog my life away. The top 2 would have to be:

  • Michael Guy --My true BlogDaddy...he's made me laugh (out loud) & cry (silent tears). It's scary at times, how similarly we think. Also, he is one sexy/sassy MoFo, with an eye for all that is beautiful...I hope to someday share a Cosmo (or 3) with about a laugh-apalooza!

  • Bradford Shellhammer -- Such a colorful, fashionable, sexy man with a real zest for life. I vicariously lived his New York life, and got hip to what's hot through his writing. His style of blogging has changed from a "traditional" blogging style to more of a personal diary (influenced by Andy Warhol). If you live under a rock and haven't heard of B. Shellhammer, go check him out!
The real surprise/bonus of blogging is all of the friends I've made. There are a few bloggers that I actually email/talk to on a regualr basis...who knew?

I think I'll celebrate this milestone by going out & spending $100 on myself...wheeeee!....scratch checking account balance tells me that ain't gonna happen....seriously: many, many thanks to all of my loyal readers....please don't leave me...and would it kill y'all to be a true pimp & spread the word about this here blog?....sheesh!

Oh, and if you're a lurker, please say hello...I really am a comment whore, and it would mean so much to me!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Love Note...Oy Vey!

Last night's drive home was only took me 35 minutes to drive the dreaded 30 miles....Woo-Hoo!.....So I was feeling kinda upbeat, as I walked through the doors of my local grocery store. My fridge & pantry are pretty full, but you see, I had a hidden agenda for this stop. Yes, it's true I was looking good...damn good....but I was do you say....bloated. Those damn refried beans I had at lunch tore my insides up! I do know tummy can't handle beans, yet every time I go to a Mexican restaurant, I am unable to say : "Hold the beans, please"..........but I'm digressing here. I stopped at the market to pick up some Gas-X (Extra Strength, yo) and maybe a little ice cream too....I've been a good boy with the diet, well "reasonably good".

Cut to the next scene, where I'm in the produce section of the market, fingering cucumbers & thinking all kinds of naughty thoughts. I look up and see a couple pushing their cart pass me, and giving me dirty looks the entire time...WTF??!!....If you've ever seen that Brit TV comedy series, Keeping Up Appearances, think of 'Onslow & Daisy'. This couple were dead ringers for those two....Why are they looking at me like that?...Was I getting a little too friendly with the cuke?....I glare back....looking all Butch & shit, until they finally look away & head toward the Deli.....Strange behavior, but whatever.....just then, my baby kicks I feel some pressure all the way up in my rib cage, and I remember why I'm here...

When I get to my car, I see that there's a note on the windshield. My heart begins to race....maybe it's from a Hot Homo, who saw me strutting in the market, fell in love with me & wants to whisk me away from all of this everday-ness....but wait....that only happens to Lesbians... ::sigh::

I try to play it cool, like this kind of thing happens to me all the time. I put away my purchases (cukes, ice cream, and the Gas-X.....what a naughty night I've got planned), then casually remove the note, get inside my car, and read the note. Here's what it says:

Thanks a lot you stupid, greedy JEW-BOY!
This parking spot was ours, but your (sic) so fucking rude that you stole it with your little piece of crap Jap car!
Go back to Jewtopia!
Isn't that sweet? I connected the dots & realized that Onslow & Daisy were both the authors of the note, as well as my Produce Pals.

FYI, These two aren't the first to mistake me for being a Jew. It must be the glasses & the big nose (please forgive my stereotyping). Honestly, I don't mind if people think that I'm Jewish...I think it's interesting, that's all. Also, I don't understand why anyone would be anti-Semitic....what's up with that ignorance?!...I once had a co-worker ask me if I celebrated Christmas "too"...Girlfriend thought that I was of the Hanukkah-celebrating set.....Hmmm, I wouldn't mind 8 nights of man-on-man sex gifts!

Hey Onslow & Daisy: sorry, but you got me all wrong. First, I am not Jewish, but thanks for the compliment. I am an ex-Catholic / ex-Methodist / ex-Born-Again-Christian.....or to put it more simple: I am a Sinner...Second, my car is not's Korean, but thanks for the compliment!....and Third: Bite me!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Happy Hump Day

Me So Horny!......wanna Hump?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Over-Fertilized Carrot

Carrot Top at the 2007 ACMA's

This is what happens when you give Ronald McDonald steroids & a tweezer. Don't even get me started on his outfit!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Pride Weekend Recap

So another year of the Long Beach Pride Festival has cum come and gone. This year, I played it pretty low key. I didn't throw a Gay Soiree to celebrate my Pride this weekend...No crazy "Kick-Off Pride" Orgies were attended. I didn't even attend the Festival. Been there, done that. The must-see event, for me, is the parade....that, I always attend. I haven't seen what the number of attendees were for this year, but my 'hood was crazy crowded all weekend.

On Friday night, I went to the Silver Fox with a friend, and we were very happy to see so many new faces. The vibe was great local guys, friendly sexy strangers, and cheap drinks all helped to make it one of those nights where you say to yourself: "Damn, I love being a Fag (or whatever is P.C. nowadays)". Also, my favorite bartender at the Fox, an older gent, was in the house....and he makes my Cosmos just right.

On Saturday morning, I got my haircut, and then I spent most of the day at my folk's house, to drop off my Mama's Mother's Day gift (they were out of town that weekend, so bite me). The plan for Saturday night was to go bar hopping with my gay BFF, after we got a light snack at a local tapas/wine restaurant (Biggs in Belmont Shore)...but things didn't go as planned.

First, the tapas joint was closed for renovations. Second, ALL of the gay bars had ridiculous lines, that had me baffled, as to how they were planning on getting all of them gay people inside. None of the gay bars in LB are anywhere near what'd be considered 'big'. Anyhoo, it was getting late, and I really wanted to get my drink we ended up at House of Hayden (downtown LB), it's not a competitive Voguing "house", it's a real place that serves booze.....and it's also STRAIGHT...Gasp! Right when we walked through the front door, the men all paused my 2 brothers called to say "surprise, we're in Long Beach, wanna hang out?"....I guess it was good karma that we ended up in a straight bar....quick recap: bros & their entourage were great fun....many many laughs & way too many drinks were had by all.

Sunday morning I watched the Pride Parade march up Ocean Blvd. The organizers did a pretty good job this year (especially in regards to pace), but if I could make a suggestion it'd be: less politicians and more go-go boys please. (Note to self: always remember to charge the camera's batteries the night before you plan on using it.) Then it was back home for the usual masturbation marathon clean house/do laundry/prep for the upcoming week.

This weekend wasn't all fun and was also an educational one. Here's what I learned:
  • Three Cosmos (on top of 2 glasses of wine and a whiskey sour) gives me a headache in the time, stop at 2 Cosmos.
  • Never ever say to your hairdresser: "I'm wanting a new look...why don't you try something new...surprise me"....I walked out of the salon looking like a sad reject from a Miami Vice extra casting call...slicked back hair, plastered to my head is so not cute.
  • Straight bars can actually be a lot of fun, and drinks are cheaper than the homo bars that I haunt.
  • A combination of Shout stain remover & bleach is a very effective way to remove skid marks from your chonies.

That's about get back to work people!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Long Beach Pride 2007

This weekend is Long Beach's Gay Pride extravaganza...Comedienne Suzanne Westenhoeffer will serve as this year's Grand Lesbian Marshall....The local Queens are just giddy with anticipation to see Jennifer Hudson (of Dreamgirls and American Idol fame...duh!) perform on the Main Stage on Sunday night.

Here's a rundown of some of the better known performers, also scheduled to do their thang during the festive weekend:
  • Ultra-sexy singing twins, Nemesis
  • Oh-so-sexy dancing duo, Jason and Demarco
  • Dance-diva-sexy, Amber
  • Sometimes-sexy, Sophie B. Hawkins
  • Not-so-sexy, Indigo Girls

I'm happy to see that some of the DJs spinning this year will include: Casey Alva, Mark Bisson and Millennium....that's sexy to the power of 3, y' if the organizers could've gotten Peter Rauhofer to spin, I'd be the giddy Queen.

For all of the out-of-towners coming to the LBC this weekend or whenever, here's a breakdown of some of the Gay bars worth checking out in the area:

  • Mick & Mack's - typically draws in the younger (twink) set...there's a dance floor here, as well as a small stage for all of the drag shows...this used to be a Hamburger Mary's a few years back...lunch & dinner is still served nightly.
  • The Falcon - very small local bar with a couple of hot bartenders that serve up some tasty cheap drinks...this is where I head to when I just want a drink, and maybe some restroom action.....I kid!
  • The Brit - very casual, low key, come-as-you-are neighborhood bar that pulls in every kind of 'Mo there is....even trannies show up here...a jukebox, darts, and a pool table keep the joint loud & fun.
  • Paradise - this is both a restaurant & a bar. The restaurant is beautifully decorated & serves up some yummy food...The piano bar is the place to go when you want a Martini....check out their list!
  • Silver Fox - very popular local bar, especially during Karaoke nights. Always a good time here.
  • Ripples - If I'm staying local, this is my favorite place to hang on a Saturday night. Friday nights used to be 80's night, but now it's Ladies (lesbo) night, *sigh*...there's 2 levels, with dance floors on each floor...different themed nights each weekend (the Latin night is very popular, and packs the place with hotties & sexy go-go boys).

FYI, if I'm in the mood to get my dance on/see some really hot men, then I head out to West Hollywood (WeHo) for that...but this weekend, the local watering holes will be bursting with hot, horny men....better get my manscaping on!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Baby, He's A Star!

Now, if only David Bromstad would show up at my back front door to help me end my involuntary celibacy status scratch that decorating itch, I'd be a very happy 'Mo.

I'd first make sure to turn the thermostat wayyy up...hours before he arrives....that way, he'd have no choice but to take his shirt off, the moment he walks across my threshold...the man gets hot very easily and is quick to strip down...

I was very happy that he was the winner of Design Star...He deserved it...I recently caught an episode of his new show Color Splash, and he's looking as hot as ever...oh yeah, the show was good too.

Monday, May 14, 2007

(Divine) Design Inspiration

This past weekend I spent much time cruising porn design websites. I've got shaved balls bare walls that need some coverage, y'all...Once you step through my home's front door, I'll hand you a Martini, and then you'll notice that the open floor plan allows you to see from the living room straight thru to the dining & kitchen areas, just beyond. You'll also notice that I don't have a damn thing on any of these walls.

I moved into my rental house back in October 2006, and the only thing I've purchased for the walls, so far, is an oversized wall mirror, that's been leaning up against the space I intend to hang it upon since November 2006.

I live in a California Bungalow style of house, which has a nice shade of khaki (beige? desert sand? mocha?) painted on all of the walls (except the kitchen which has a nice cinnamon-colored accent wall & the bathroom, of course is all white....boring)....the windows are all framed out with large molding that's painted white, so putting up something on the walls should be a piece of cake, right?.....yeah, right!

Truth be told, I'm terrified of making a 'mistake'. I've got plenty of ideas in my head, but vague ideas & expensive taste are to blame for me not finishing the walls (har!)...Seriously, I am making progress in choosing shit to put up...For example, I think I've finally found what's going to go above my dark grey/black's the cloud painting above, that measures 58" x 43"....and costs $350.00 (ouch!)....I think it'll work great with the sofa & the rest of my Ikea furniture.

Here are some additional areas that need coverage & what I'm thinking I'll do:
  • Above my TV / Entertainment console - 3 pictures: black frames with white matting, or maybe some artsy-fartsy metal sculpture.
  • Living Room wall (small area) - a large wall clock, or maybe a sunburst mirror.
  • Dining Room wall - Two very large, framed vintage prints of the World's Fair (Chicago & NYC)
  • Kitchen wall - Nine mounted Fornasetti plates (but at $120.00 a plate....this ain't gonna happen)...back to the drawing board.

Ok, now all I have to do is start that 'beans & rice diet', so I can afford all of this crap...I'd be bloated & farting all the time, but hey, that ain't nothing new!

I really need a muse to whisper in my ear, or better yet, a kick ass interior designer who'll help a homo out, pro bono.....Candice Olson...can ya hear me calling?

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Sweet Escape

Sometimes I want to walk away from all of my responsibilities.
Just turn my back away from it all.
I'm so tired of putting on a happy face.
Keeping up appearances is so exhausting.
I want to be selfish...for once in my life.
It's time to live in my moment.

Yes, the Maldives looks mighty fine, right about now.
Just me, a Mojito, and that surreal view.

Misery may love company, but Pity is a party of one.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Burning Up/Down

I didn't get much sleep last night, as L.A. is going through a nasty heat wave right now....I had all my ceiling fans (don't care for how they look, but they do a pretty job of cooling down the place) running, but it was still pretty warm. Long Beach got into the 90's yesterday & the heat felt even worse, once the strong dry winds started to blow.

Rainfall in L.A. this past winter, was at an all time low, which means that now we've got hills full of dry brush just waiting to burst into flames. Speaking of fire, there is a 600-acre wildfire burning in Griffith Park right now. Griffith Park is a mix of wilderness, cultural sites, horse & hiking trails, and recreational facilities set on more than 4,000 acres in the hills between Hollywood and the San Fernando Valley. It's home to the Greek Theatre, the Griffith Observatory, L.A. Zoo, and the Museum of the American West.

Personally, I think that it's too damn early for summer temps....last summer (esp July) was a real's sad to admit to, but I kinda look forward to coming into work now, but only for the comfort of the A/C....oh, and all of the blog reading that I get to do...

Pray for rain my L.A. Brethren!

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

I Need A Hero

Perfection, thy name is Adrian Pasdar....Honestly, this delicious specimen is one of the best examples of a what a man should look like. That strong, squared jaw line, those large brooding eyes that penetrate all the way to my naughty bits, oh, those lips, and what a great head of hair!....but above all else, he looks like he'd be a real tiger in bed....meow!

I love the show Heroes, and watching this man, every Monday night, just makes it so much more enjoyable! I really hope that I get to see him shirtless & oiled up on an upcoming episode....oh, screw the storyline, I wanna see me some Pasdar skin.


Below pic comes courtesy of Atari_Age

Monday, May 7, 2007

Weekend Recap

Friday Night:
Called up my 2 brothers to see if they could make it to Long Beach for dinner on Saturday, but they both had to work (they're both in their early 20's & work as waiters), but we talked about planning a Vegas trip or even a quick cruise down to Mexico sometime soon...I had Dinner with a friend & then off we went to see Spiderman 3 at Downtown Disney...for real: The theaters here are large, ultra-clean, and staffed with some very efficient teeny boppers. I had my overpriced popcorn/soda ready for me before I could put my change back in my wallet....Not so impressed with the movie. I'm usually very easy to please in the bedroom when it comes to action-packed movies, but this one was a little too cheesy for me...I think a good 30 minutes could have been cut from this flop...easily....Also, I never want to see Tobey Maguire cry or hear Kirsten Dunst sing ever again....ever! your money & wait for it to go to cable.

I had dinner/drinks with a Lesbo friend to celebrate Cinco De Mayo....I hadn't seen her ass in quite some time, so we had much to get caught up on....she shared with me her return to men, as in sleeping with them (lucky Betch!)....she doesn't think this whole 'men' thing will last however, as it was just a quick fix /male sexploitation thang.

One of the things that I shared with her was this here blog. Since I haven't shamed her yet, I figured it was 'safe' to let her into my corner of the blogosphere...well, maybe the above lines will cause her some Lesbionic Rage, but I won't post her real name/pic.....well, not just yet anyway....I kid, I kid!

Drinks were had at Micky's in oh my!!....such Loverly go-go boys did my little eye not that little eye, 'tho I almost saw one of the dancer's "little eye"...for real: this dancer looked like a sexy version of Adam Samberg (with much better teeth & a smaller nose) and was sporting a pair of red, terry cloth, 70's style short basketball shorts...his thick cock was hard (cockring, I'm sure) and the tip nearly peeked out of the bottom of his shorts....he had to keep his hand on the bottom edge of the shorts while dancing, otherwise we would've seen more than management would've Lez friend kept egging me on to tip him, but I'm a cheap bastard & wouldn't part with my $1...

Not much to report here...the usual good times of doing laundry, scouring the bath tub, and mopping the kitchen floor were made bearable after 1/2 a bottle of Chianti....The highlight of the evening was watching the finale for The Amazing Race & then being utterly disappointed when Charla & Mirna lost...

Hope y'all had a fun/relaxing weekend...Carry On!

Friday, May 4, 2007

Disconnected Connections

I just got off of a 30 minute phone call from Mama....well, it was more like 30 minutes of me listening to her, and saying "uh-huh", every minute or so (whenever she paused to take a breath).....the topic for today's call (I mean this "afternoon's", as I'm sure there'll be a follow-up call later today) was about the nasty battle that my Uncle is going through with 1). his ex-girlfriend and 2). his children.....they're all fighting over his house in Texas that he's selling.

Here's the situation: He currently lives in Colorado. The Texas house is the one he bought, shortly after his wife died & then quickly moved into with his now ex-girlfriend.....The ex his claiming that she is entitled to 1/2 of the property's value, since she was his common law wife for the last 10+ years.....his 2 daughters are laying a claim to the house, because they're crazy / greedy bitches. My Uncle's son is fighting off all of dem bitches....and saying that the house belongs to my Uncle......Period.

I really could not care less what happens, yet I had to listen to Mama recreate the entire phone conversation she had with my Uncle, including all of the voices of all of the characters in this sad, sad drama...I did get a chuckle when Mama imitated my Uncle's voice....(he sounds very much like John Wayne....and looks like Caesar Romero), I literally laughed out loud as my Mom said (in Uncle's voice): "that low life, bleach blonde, Wetback isn't getting one red cent from me!" had to hear it to hear the funny!

It's a shame how so many of my relatives no longer speak to one another, due to some petty argument...Back in the Golden Days of my youth, when the terms "401k Plan" & "Life Insurance" were as foreign to me as the term "Bukakke" was, my parents were notorious for throwing festive dinner parties or BBQs, which most of my 7 Uncles, 6 Aunts, their spouses & many cousins attended (all on my Mother's side)...
  • Side Note #1: My maternal Grandmother had a total of 17 children....a set of twins died at birth & one son was killed in a car accident when he was very young.
  • Side Note #2: I have never met any of my Dad's family, as they disowned him when he & Mama eloped in Vegas.
  • Side Note #3: both of my parents grew up on farms, hence, the need for free labor.
The real shame is that the only time I see my crazy relatives are at a funeral....and it's at the funeral, through heartfelt tears & hugs, that we all promise 'to get together real soon' and 'not to be strangers any longer'. It's at the cemetery where hatchets are buried & amends are made, but good intentions are just that...intentions.

I'm thinking that it's time for the next generation to step up & recreate some of those fun, happy times....I think I'll call up my brothers tonight & invite them over for dinner this's a start, right?

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Stroking Myself

I'm about to break a personal Blog Post Rule here and discuss my job.....I'm only doing so, because I'm seething with anger, and I need an outlet to vent. Well, I just had my pre-mid-year performance evaluation. I was asked by my boss to take his evaluation form & to rank myself, based on the listed criteria, prior to our meeting...Then we would compare notes & discuss the variances. Bleh!!...This is such a fricken waste of time, because I always rank myself high & then he shoots me back down, regardless of my why should I even put forth any effort in this self evaluation?!

Anyhoo, as expected my boss's overly aggressive goals/unreal expectations shot my (self-ranked) high scores down....way down. But I'm ok with that, as we went through this exact same dance last year. Boss man gives me an initial low ranking mid-year, and then at year end he shoots my scores way up & details all of the 'significant' improvements I've made.....and the year end rating is the one that dictates my annual increase, so whatever....I'm not long for this department anyway...

But that's not what's got my undies in a twist....what has me ready to throw a bitch out of a window is that someone in our department (6 employees total) has complained to my boss that I am "on the Internet all day".....I denied the charges of course, and my boss told me not to worry about it, because all he cared about was that I'm making my deadlines & he doesn't care what I do in my free time. He was only letting me know, so that I would literally watch my, thanks (?)

I have a good idea who it is (well there are 2 witches that I'm considering)....I'm very close to the other 3 employees in our group & we all joke on a daily basis of how much time we've spent reading blogs, cruising Ebay, etc...

Had I been in my boss' shoes, I'm not so sure if I would've said anything to me about it, because now all I want to do is to rip out the bitter hags' hearts....So much for team spirit!.....but it's too late now...the beans have been spilt & I'm on the war path....I only wish that they were still here in the office, while my anger is red hot.

Tomorrow, when the frog faced one shoots me an email asking how the evaluation went, I'm telling her what the boss told me about "someone's" accusations & that I've got a pretty good idea who that person is....and then she'll run over to her redneck buddy & whisper-whisper what I just told her.

No more Mister Nice Guy....Bitches!


So early this morning, I'd resolved to take the high road & not mention to Froggy (I'm convinced that it's her & not the Redneck) that I knew of her tattle-telling....I mean, why give her the satisfaction of knowing that her tactics worked?...

....but then she popped into my cubicle, while I was eating breakfast & seeing that face & hearing that whiny voice set something off in me....I really wanted to 'reach out & touch someone'....but work place violence is so '90s....

She started to complain that she had received a pretty bad review...whine, whine, whine.....then she asked how mine went...of course I told her that it was surprisingly one of the best reviews bossman had given me....I told her that I had ranked myself pretty low, and he did just the opposite....then I asked her if she had a few minutes & that I'd like to talk to her in a privacy room....I just couldn't let this go on & put on a happy face.....I needed to confront her, otherwise it would just eat at me.....I'm tired of sweeping things under the rug...that's the old me.

In the privacy room I told her about my knowledge of "someone's" complaint...I didn't accuse her of being the bitch in question. I told her that bossman told me he doesn't care what I do during my free time here, as long as I get my work done on time...I said that it's great that that's how he feels.....I guess....but it's upsetting to me that someone would go to him & make this accusation....then I said something along the lines of: "I was under the impression that our group was made up of professionals, who didn't play games, make accusations, tattle-tell, & stab each other in the back".

I also mentioned that: "It's really sad that I no longer feel comfortable in this group, and now I'm always going to have to feel like I need to watch my back. I've always done my own work & worried about my own know, like we all should be doing".

She listened to me, nodded her head, and didn't interrupt....I also said: "there's always that one person in every work group who is bitter, jealous, and not happy unless there's conflict in the workplace".

Her response (as somewhat predicted): "that sucks though because I think at some point we are all on the internet. You can't really expect everyone to be working all the time. My thought on it is that as long as it doesn't effect me, what do I care. I have enough to worry about. I'd care if it was an issue of you not doing your work and then I'd have to do it due to your slack...but seriously what you are doing doesn't really effect anyone, so I don't understand why someone would bring that up.....oh wow....I had no idea....that's too bad, Chris....are you ok?"

Oh, how I wanted to slap that fake concern off of her flat, oily face!

Now, I feel tons better! .....I guess it's time to put back that dark tinted glare protection on the monitor.....ha!!.....or would that be too obvious?

Thanks for all of the advice Peeps!