Friday, June 26, 2009

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thursday's Post


I just got out of a work meeting, and I should really be given some kind of an award. A spot bonus, a salary increase, job title promotion, a certificate with gold stars....some kind of recognition.! It took all the strength I had in me to stay awake and to appear sober, coherent, and interested. That's a lot of effort displayed by me, especially since I'm currently hopped up on Vicodin, Ibuprofen, and a muscle relaxer ( I love Thee!)

Today's meeting topic really doesn't impact my job duties, it was more of an FYI for me. So, I had to keep my mind busy, or else I'd end up SOL (snoring out loud). In order to keep up the appearance that I was generally interested in the material being presented, I did the following:
  • For all of the people who made fashion mistakes this morning, I undressed them (mentally) and then redressed them in much better looking/fitting clothes.

  • I mentally reworked the refreshment table. Cookies, veggies, water, orange juice, and coffee?? So weak! I wanted lox & bagels, fresh berries in a watermelon "bowl", an omelette bar, a Mimosa station, melon wrapped in prosciutto, etc...

  • I schemed of ways to smuggle out the large, glass bucket, that was being used to store ice...I think it'd look much better back at my place...full of chilled champagne.

  • I furtively browsed the Internet on my phone, and even played Pac-Man on it, but that didn't last long...the battery started to get low real fast.

After lunch, I came back to my desk only to find out that I have just been added to yet another meeting at 2:30...Guess I better charge up my phone !

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Alice in Wonderland ~ 2010

Tim Burton's at it again, with his interpretation of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland...I can't wait to see this next year (March 2010 is the expected release date).

Here are some movie stills :

Johhny Depp as the Mad Hatter

Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen

Matt Lucas as TweedleDee & TweedleDum

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

An Ikea Experience

A few weeks back, I bought a pair of chairs at I kea that were marked down from $89 to $30 each. Along with the chairs,I bought a few extra things too. When I was in line to pay, I did the math in my head, so I had a rough estimate of how much money I was about to lose. Now, I've got math skills, so when the cashier gave me the total, I was a little surprised that I was off by about $30.

When I got in my car, I scanned the receipt and noticed that the cashier was kind enough to give me one of the chairs for free ....How sweet, no? Well, once I got home, I noticed that the chairs I had bought were the wrong finish. I wanted the brown-black finish, but I ended up getting the pine finish for both chairs. Damn, I hate returning crap! Karma is such a bitch!

The following weekend, I went back to exchange the chairs in the finish that I wanted. I ended up arguing with the return counter guy and then his manager over the exchange. The problem was that they would only let me exchange for the proper finish if I agreed to pay the difference, since the sale price is no longer in effect. WTF???!!! Here's a snippet of the convo between me & and the manger:

Manager: I'm sorry that YOU chose the wrong finish...there was an employee
standing on the floor handing out the chairs to the customers.

Fabulous Me: Yes, I know....I asked him to give me 2 of the brown-black finish chairs and he ended up giving me the wrong finish.

Now repeat those 2 lines for the next 5 minutes and you'll get our entire conversation. What ended up happening was that they gave me store credit for the 2 chairs. I was handed a gift card for a little over $60, but I didn't buy the chairs at $89 each.

Half way through the argument with the manager, a little voice, in the back of my head spoke up and said: "shut the hell're about to be given $60, and you only shelled out $30....remember, you got one of those chairs for free..."

But, it wasn't about making a profit of $30. I was fighting for the principle of the matter. The manager was basically calling me a liar and saying that I just chose 2 chairs myself, without the help of the employee handing out the chairs. Which isn't what happened at all.

Anyhoo... I took that gift card and I ended up buying a whole lot more Swedish crap. Take that, IKEA!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Haven't Got Time for The Pain


I have a pinched nerve in my upper left back. It hurts. Like a Bitch. With a capital B.

Thankfully, I have a Thermatherapy heat pack that really helps alleviate the pain. This is the 2nd time I've had a pinched nerve in the same area this year. If I wasn't such a typical man, I'd go to the doctor and have it looked at.

This time around isn't as bad as the last time, so I think if I continue to take my Vicodin (Thanks Paul) and apply the heat pack (Thanks Rite-Aid), it'll be gone in a few days. Fingers crossed. Ouch!

Happy Father's Day !

To all the Daddies out there: Happy Father's Day...Hope today is a good one for you!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Blue Dancers

I truly admire people who have been blessed with an artistic gene. They see the world through an entirely different set of eyes. My eldest (oldest?) daughter has this gift. Lucky for me, she is also dating a gifted & generous artist. One of his art class assignments was to reproduce a famous impressionist's work. He chose to recreate Blue Dancers by Edgar Degas. After he was graded on his painting, he gave the painting to me, where I now have it hanging on a wall in my dining room area. He scored major points with that move.

Here's the original:

Here's the reproduction (I love it):

Monday, June 1, 2009


On my way back home from church the liquor store last night, and on my drive in to work this morning, I spied with my little brown eye, two (different) women driving clunkers that each had similar stickers on their cars. Both women thought so highly of themselves that they each slapped a couple of stickers on their car's windows that proclaimed to the world, that each of them were in fact.... Divas.

Too bad for me that I don't have the pleasure of knowing them personally. Based on what I could see of their "urban styling", it was obvious to me that their ghetto fabulousness clearly embodies the definition of what a true diva really is.

From Wikipedia, a diva is:
Divas are celebrated female singers. The Italian term is used to describe a woman of rare, outstanding talent in the world of opera (Maria Callas, Montserrat Caballé) and by extension in theatre, cinema and popular music. The meaning of diva is closely related to that of "prima Donna".

So by that definition, I take it that, in order to be considered a diva you have to:

1. Be a woman.
2. Be a well known woman with true performance talent.

Now, haven't we all seen a twinky homo wearing a t-shirt (purchased at Baby Gap) emblazoned with the word "DIVA" in glittery letters? That's just wrong and really needs to stop.

I just think it's ridiculous when a woman (or lady-boy) proclaims herself to be a diva for all the wong reasons. Just because you can't control your potty mouth, have no sense of decorum, or don't understand the difference between slutty & classy does not make you a diva.

Below is a pic that a coworker recently sent me, which originally had the caption "Diva-Licious".

I'm just she wearing red or orange panties under her skirt?